This is a blog that had been opened two years back, then unfortunately it was lost, not sure how we managed to do that, but anyway for a long time we tried to retrieve it but were unable to do, so had sadly said goodbye to the blog. Then as a surprise my daughter retrieved each of the write ups and put it together in this blog page. Yesterday for the first time I looked into my blog, reconstructed by my daughter; most of what we had written were there except for the dates. The feeling was great
Why had i opened this blog ??
For me it was important that issues not being addressed currently in Orissa or issue that are not considered very important to be addressed in Orissa are reflected here.
It was equally important that friends from the CBOs that I work with who are as well as work with vulnerable, marginalized population can put across the isolation that they face and the stigma and discrimination that they address as well as face in this blog.
Our CBO friends hopefully one day will be confident enough to write their stories on their own, but currently I think it is our responsibility to see that they are reflected for all to see, feel and do something about.
Welcome to our blog, 'Living with Dignity'
Sarita
Odisha-1
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Media insensitivity
on 29 December in a vernacular daily in Orissa in the front page a photograph of a family, with the following caption was published:
"Father Mother & their two children suffering from AIDS".
What bothered all of us was that each and every detail of where he lived, what he did, and how he got himself infected with the virus is detailed out in that column.
In Orissa past experience with HIV/AIDS has been horrible.
I remember there was an incidence in Ganjam (a high prevalent district), where a young mother, whose husband died of AIDS related disease was tied to her cot and burnt by the villagers, a young man who had died of AIDS was not given a decent cremation because of his HIV status. These are some of the common incidence that have been regularly occurring in Orissa. One needs to question media as to whether these kinds of sensational news will aggravate the situation or not, whether they have maintained all the norms (e.g taking permission from the family (written permission) before publishing this human interest story, Whether consequences of such kind of publication has been discussed with the family, has confidentiality been taken into account while writing about how, what action of his resulted in him being a HIV+.
I am presuming that no such initiative has been taken before exposing the family to discrimination. I do hope individuals and community members come together to address media insensitivity which harms the common man and exposes them to discrimination.
"Father Mother & their two children suffering from AIDS".
What bothered all of us was that each and every detail of where he lived, what he did, and how he got himself infected with the virus is detailed out in that column.
In Orissa past experience with HIV/AIDS has been horrible.
I remember there was an incidence in Ganjam (a high prevalent district), where a young mother, whose husband died of AIDS related disease was tied to her cot and burnt by the villagers, a young man who had died of AIDS was not given a decent cremation because of his HIV status. These are some of the common incidence that have been regularly occurring in Orissa. One needs to question media as to whether these kinds of sensational news will aggravate the situation or not, whether they have maintained all the norms (e.g taking permission from the family (written permission) before publishing this human interest story, Whether consequences of such kind of publication has been discussed with the family, has confidentiality been taken into account while writing about how, what action of his resulted in him being a HIV+.
I am presuming that no such initiative has been taken before exposing the family to discrimination. I do hope individuals and community members come together to address media insensitivity which harms the common man and exposes them to discrimination.
STIGMA & DISCRIMINATION
In a recent meeting, held in Capital Hospital, Bhubaneswar on 27 December, on stigma and discrimination, a PLHIV member brought up the issue that in most of the prescriptions provided in the column of diseases the Medical Officer of that hospital write AIDS, this has resulted in discrimination as the nurses and the pharmacists mistreat them, the Medical Officer gave an explanation that he had certain moral responsibility towards other Doctors as the patient would never reveal his HIV status. The Participants straight away protested and argued with the Doctor, what about the rights of the patient, does the patient not have any rights.
Though the Doctor did not have any reply to that he persisted with his answer about how important it was to protect the doctors from syringe pricks. Rather the Medical Officer justified and stated that discrimination happens in every field and every issues and tried to trivialize this particular serious issue of concern of people being discriminated on the basis of their HIV status.
What can be done to change the attitude of Doctors; are we doing enough to change their attitude; are our training programmes adequate ; are we taught enough by our parents, teachers and elders about respecting life and human beings in general; I think these are questions that one should be constantly asking own self as well friends, families, loved ones enough.
Though the Doctor did not have any reply to that he persisted with his answer about how important it was to protect the doctors from syringe pricks. Rather the Medical Officer justified and stated that discrimination happens in every field and every issues and tried to trivialize this particular serious issue of concern of people being discriminated on the basis of their HIV status.
What can be done to change the attitude of Doctors; are we doing enough to change their attitude; are our training programmes adequate ; are we taught enough by our parents, teachers and elders about respecting life and human beings in general; I think these are questions that one should be constantly asking own self as well friends, families, loved ones enough.
Must Read Books on HIV/AIDS
Two books that have really touched my soul and I am constantly promoting for all to read are:
1. Sex Lies and AIDS by Siddharth Dube
2. AIDS Sutra edited by Negar Akhavi in collaboration with Avahan India AIDS Initiative, Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.
Sex Lies & AIDS: by Siddharth Dube was a turning point for me, it was published in 2000 and breaks many stereotypes. This book for the first time focuses on vulnerability and why it is important for all of us to come together to fight the disease. it speaks of the Government programmes, the apathy of the respective states in handling a epidemic of this proportion
AIDS Sutra: Untold Stories of India, published in 2008 has a foreword by Amartya Sen and 16 award winning authors write about the epidemic it not only focuses on how the Devdasis, hijras, truck drivers and sex workers are grappling with the disease, but it also focuses on HIV among the affluent and the privileged. These books will give us an insight on the need for empathy and compassion.
1. Sex Lies and AIDS by Siddharth Dube
2. AIDS Sutra edited by Negar Akhavi in collaboration with Avahan India AIDS Initiative, Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.
Sex Lies & AIDS: by Siddharth Dube was a turning point for me, it was published in 2000 and breaks many stereotypes. This book for the first time focuses on vulnerability and why it is important for all of us to come together to fight the disease. it speaks of the Government programmes, the apathy of the respective states in handling a epidemic of this proportion
AIDS Sutra: Untold Stories of India, published in 2008 has a foreword by Amartya Sen and 16 award winning authors write about the epidemic it not only focuses on how the Devdasis, hijras, truck drivers and sex workers are grappling with the disease, but it also focuses on HIV among the affluent and the privileged. These books will give us an insight on the need for empathy and compassion.
Lata's Story
Name: Lata (name changed)
Age: 27
Marital Status: Widowed.
Children: Two a 12 year old Daughter and a 9 year old son.
Her Story
In 2004, Lata’s husband 'Jay Kumar' had to be hospitalized, reason he had a severe bout of diarrhea which had dehydrated him. Jay Kumar was taken care of in the hospital at Cuttack by his older brother. Two days after Jay Kumar's hospitalization Lata was taken to the hospital to get her blood tested, nobody talked or explained to her why her blood was being tested. Lata was taken to the hospital twice, and soon after her report was delivered, everybody’s behavior towards her changed. Her mother-in-law beat her and kicked her out of the house.
She went back to her parent’s house. Lata's brother immediately came to meet her husband and in-laws. Lata’s brother returned back angry and slapped Lata and asked her what sin had she committed and who had she slept with. Lata was shocked, she kept denying. Lata's mother believed that her daughter would never do anything wrong and protected her from her brother’s anger. After three months, Lata's brother-in-law came and asked Lata to come back to the house. When Lata returned, her mother-in-law angrily said,” you have given my son AIDS so you have to serve and take care of him". Lata her husband and her children stayed in a ramshackle hut far from the main house, none of the family members came to her house, she was asked to keep take water from a separate pond, and also asked not to come into the main house. Lata’s family was treated as outcastes.
Jaya Kumar died two months later. Soon after he was cremated, Lata's in-laws asked Lata to leave with her two children. Lata now lives with her parents and tries to make some sense of what has happened. Lata for a long time did not know how she got the disease; she believed for a long time that she was the one who gave the disease to her husband. In 2007 she started working with a NGO and realized that she had not given her husband the virus, and her truck driver husband could be the one to give her the virus. The NGO took her and her children to the nearest VCCTC and she got her children tested and also got herself tested, her test came back positive whereas her children were negative. She decided to demand a share of her husband’s property from her in-laws who predictably refused. With the support of the NGO, Lata fought tooth and nail with her husband’s family for her husband's share of the property and finally managed to get his share for the children.
This is a true incident and certain questions that this incident always raises are:
1. How can a hospital test blood without counseling a client?
2. Why are certain quality checks which are mandatory and non negotiable not being promoted in hospitals and by Government which would support and promote the rights of clients?
3. Why are health care providers so callous about the rights of the clients?
I always use this incident in my trainings as we rarely talk in our trainings about ways and key steps to be undertaken to establish strong referral linkage mechanism which would promote spouse/partner counseling. This is important and imperative as our counselors are not well versed and trained in spouse/family counseling nor do they promote it as much as it should be done.
Age: 27
Marital Status: Widowed.
Children: Two a 12 year old Daughter and a 9 year old son.
Her Story
In 2004, Lata’s husband 'Jay Kumar' had to be hospitalized, reason he had a severe bout of diarrhea which had dehydrated him. Jay Kumar was taken care of in the hospital at Cuttack by his older brother. Two days after Jay Kumar's hospitalization Lata was taken to the hospital to get her blood tested, nobody talked or explained to her why her blood was being tested. Lata was taken to the hospital twice, and soon after her report was delivered, everybody’s behavior towards her changed. Her mother-in-law beat her and kicked her out of the house.
She went back to her parent’s house. Lata's brother immediately came to meet her husband and in-laws. Lata’s brother returned back angry and slapped Lata and asked her what sin had she committed and who had she slept with. Lata was shocked, she kept denying. Lata's mother believed that her daughter would never do anything wrong and protected her from her brother’s anger. After three months, Lata's brother-in-law came and asked Lata to come back to the house. When Lata returned, her mother-in-law angrily said,” you have given my son AIDS so you have to serve and take care of him". Lata her husband and her children stayed in a ramshackle hut far from the main house, none of the family members came to her house, she was asked to keep take water from a separate pond, and also asked not to come into the main house. Lata’s family was treated as outcastes.
Jaya Kumar died two months later. Soon after he was cremated, Lata's in-laws asked Lata to leave with her two children. Lata now lives with her parents and tries to make some sense of what has happened. Lata for a long time did not know how she got the disease; she believed for a long time that she was the one who gave the disease to her husband. In 2007 she started working with a NGO and realized that she had not given her husband the virus, and her truck driver husband could be the one to give her the virus. The NGO took her and her children to the nearest VCCTC and she got her children tested and also got herself tested, her test came back positive whereas her children were negative. She decided to demand a share of her husband’s property from her in-laws who predictably refused. With the support of the NGO, Lata fought tooth and nail with her husband’s family for her husband's share of the property and finally managed to get his share for the children.
This is a true incident and certain questions that this incident always raises are:
1. How can a hospital test blood without counseling a client?
2. Why are certain quality checks which are mandatory and non negotiable not being promoted in hospitals and by Government which would support and promote the rights of clients?
3. Why are health care providers so callous about the rights of the clients?
I always use this incident in my trainings as we rarely talk in our trainings about ways and key steps to be undertaken to establish strong referral linkage mechanism which would promote spouse/partner counseling. This is important and imperative as our counselors are not well versed and trained in spouse/family counseling nor do they promote it as much as it should be done.
MIgration & HIV
on 7-8 January a regional consultative meeting was held in CYSD on Migration & HIV, this meeting was facilitated by SPYM a organization from New Delhi and financed and supported by UNDP, the suggestions and findings from this workshop would feed into the National level consultative meet on Migration & HIV in New Delhi. Plans are to conduct four such meeting, two have already been conducted and two more will be conducted shortly in other states. The recommendations and findings of these workshop will feed into the national level workshop and a strategy will be developed by Government of India to address Migration and HIV. A good initiative and it is needed, as migration especially distress migration needs to be addressed at all levels.
Heights of insensitivity in the workshop:
A high ranking gentleman of Government of Orissa invited to be the chief speaker on Day II spoke of the following:
a. Educated men going to foreign shores and no statistics on the number of them leaving our shores.
b. People forge data on distress migration and inflate it. As a result this is questioned in the assembly and departments have trouble answering it.
A professional Lady who is currently working in the mainstreaming of HIV/AIDS unit, Government of Orissa spoke of how mainstreaming does not only address migration and mainstreaming is not the answer for all problems related to migration and she was there in the workshop because she was working in mainstreaming unit and was asked to participate in the process.
what was good about the workshop:
1. People are taking distress migration seriously and actually thinking of ways to address issues related to distress migration.
2. This was a forum where NGOs /CBOs were actually asked for their opinion and what they feel can be done.
what should raise our concern:
1. Poverty and livelihood are still major concerns and this needs to be addressed on a priority basis
2. People working with the Government or people closely allied to it still feel that everything cannot be addressed, and they are not responsible for addressing migration and issues related to it.
3. NGOs data on migration is still not recognized, neither is there any effort by Government to collect data on migration.
4. The needs of the migrants are not taken as a issue either at the destination(place of work) or at the source(home). As a result you will find a increase in the number of cases reported in the media on sexual & physical abuse, increase of HIV/AIDS, other diseases like RTIs/STIs, suicides, exploitations, physical abuse, killings etc.
Attending workshops like this show us how inadequate our work is and how chaotic our world is.
Heights of insensitivity in the workshop:
A high ranking gentleman of Government of Orissa invited to be the chief speaker on Day II spoke of the following:
a. Educated men going to foreign shores and no statistics on the number of them leaving our shores.
b. People forge data on distress migration and inflate it. As a result this is questioned in the assembly and departments have trouble answering it.
A professional Lady who is currently working in the mainstreaming of HIV/AIDS unit, Government of Orissa spoke of how mainstreaming does not only address migration and mainstreaming is not the answer for all problems related to migration and she was there in the workshop because she was working in mainstreaming unit and was asked to participate in the process.
what was good about the workshop:
1. People are taking distress migration seriously and actually thinking of ways to address issues related to distress migration.
2. This was a forum where NGOs /CBOs were actually asked for their opinion and what they feel can be done.
what should raise our concern:
1. Poverty and livelihood are still major concerns and this needs to be addressed on a priority basis
2. People working with the Government or people closely allied to it still feel that everything cannot be addressed, and they are not responsible for addressing migration and issues related to it.
3. NGOs data on migration is still not recognized, neither is there any effort by Government to collect data on migration.
4. The needs of the migrants are not taken as a issue either at the destination(place of work) or at the source(home). As a result you will find a increase in the number of cases reported in the media on sexual & physical abuse, increase of HIV/AIDS, other diseases like RTIs/STIs, suicides, exploitations, physical abuse, killings etc.
Attending workshops like this show us how inadequate our work is and how chaotic our world is.
Denial, Stigma & Discrimination
Denial, Stigma and Discrimination (DSD) are some of the terms we rarely use in Orissa,
Why is it?
Is it because it has never happened in Orissa, it is because nobody ever speaks about it. Or is it because nobody feels it is important to address.
Have there been any documentation on on Denial, Stigma and Discrimination (DSD). NO! we from Orissa have always been bad at documenting anything, maybe some intellectuals from other parts of the country will come and document it.
We carried out a series of workshops with hospitals, and in each of these workshops very few (one or two) staffs of the hospital have participated. ODISHA One has come across bitter experiences of Denial, Stigma and Discrimination (DSD) against PLHIVs in many of the public and private health care settings. And very rarely have we been able to address these issues as the political will seems to be missing, and also the fractured NGO groups does not seem to have helped, let us face it Government is the largest donor organizations for small NGOs in Orissa and nobody would like to be caught as a disturbing element in these so called smooth setting.
In Orissa everybody talks of Denial Stigma and Discrimination in one breath, nobody differentiates Denial from Stigma or Discrimination nor does anybody have any strategies to address these, Denial is rarely mentioned. PLHIVs are often refused treatment and surgery, denied admission to hospitals. What is scary is that these are neither reported nor any action taken against anybody. The worst part is in prescriptions in the column of disease AIDS is written, the rationale behind it as stated by a Doctor, “we have a responsibility to mention it so that any other Doctor who sees the prescription knows it and takes precaution”. What about responsibility towards your client the patient.
Universal Precaution is almost like Greek and Latin to majority of the health care professional, very rarely do we see them adhering to it. When asked one of them said, “Do you think that is going to protect us from AIDS, you NGO guys no nothing and make most amount of noise?
In trainings too we have not talked about Denial Stigma and Discrimination openly but the time is now, all those modules on trainings on Denial, Stigma and Discrimination needs to be used and ordinary people, professionals, and even trainers need to be aware on what denial of basic services does to a ordinary human being, what does stigma do to the self esteem of a ordinary human being and how does discrimination isolate a ordinary human being from the people s/he loves.
Please speak out, speak against and fight against Denial, Stigma and Discrimination. We would like to hear from you incidences, cases, ideas to address DSD and how best to fight against it.
Why is it?
Is it because it has never happened in Orissa, it is because nobody ever speaks about it. Or is it because nobody feels it is important to address.
Have there been any documentation on on Denial, Stigma and Discrimination (DSD). NO! we from Orissa have always been bad at documenting anything, maybe some intellectuals from other parts of the country will come and document it.
We carried out a series of workshops with hospitals, and in each of these workshops very few (one or two) staffs of the hospital have participated. ODISHA One has come across bitter experiences of Denial, Stigma and Discrimination (DSD) against PLHIVs in many of the public and private health care settings. And very rarely have we been able to address these issues as the political will seems to be missing, and also the fractured NGO groups does not seem to have helped, let us face it Government is the largest donor organizations for small NGOs in Orissa and nobody would like to be caught as a disturbing element in these so called smooth setting.
In Orissa everybody talks of Denial Stigma and Discrimination in one breath, nobody differentiates Denial from Stigma or Discrimination nor does anybody have any strategies to address these, Denial is rarely mentioned. PLHIVs are often refused treatment and surgery, denied admission to hospitals. What is scary is that these are neither reported nor any action taken against anybody. The worst part is in prescriptions in the column of disease AIDS is written, the rationale behind it as stated by a Doctor, “we have a responsibility to mention it so that any other Doctor who sees the prescription knows it and takes precaution”. What about responsibility towards your client the patient.
Universal Precaution is almost like Greek and Latin to majority of the health care professional, very rarely do we see them adhering to it. When asked one of them said, “Do you think that is going to protect us from AIDS, you NGO guys no nothing and make most amount of noise?
In trainings too we have not talked about Denial Stigma and Discrimination openly but the time is now, all those modules on trainings on Denial, Stigma and Discrimination needs to be used and ordinary people, professionals, and even trainers need to be aware on what denial of basic services does to a ordinary human being, what does stigma do to the self esteem of a ordinary human being and how does discrimination isolate a ordinary human being from the people s/he loves.
Please speak out, speak against and fight against Denial, Stigma and Discrimination. We would like to hear from you incidences, cases, ideas to address DSD and how best to fight against it.
Living with Dignity Blog
I am very new to blogs, when I developed this blog I thought why not this could at least be a forum for all of those who I have been working for and who actually want to be heard. I was excited and my friends working in the development field and also those friends who do not work in this field but sympathize with the "big cause" really egged my to open the blog page.
I was excited, and did it, I called literally each of my friends up and asked them to contribute about issues, incidences, cases,causes, opinions, defining moments, and everybody was like yes we will do it, but strangely enough except for a few actually none of them had anything to say, Surprised of course I am. When I have colloquiums, discussions and meetings in my office, everybody wants to talk, but through the blog very few want to speak.
I don't mean to point fingers at any of my friends, it is just that every day people who have been stigmatized drop by at my office, these are sad stories, yesterday a a young man of 18 from of a premier Engineering College dropped by to tell how he was harassed for his sexual orientation and his mannerisms, he said, "Madam, I try to control my mannerisms, but the more I do the more pronounced it becomes. I just don't know what to do, i want to be accepted and complete my studies.
A week back, we had to go to a village in Orissa, where a widow and her family had been beaten black and blue and kicked out of the village, their crime, her husband had died of AIDS related illnesses, and she was HIV positive.
In our neighbourhood, a women of 72 lives alone, as her children are in far off places, and she drops by everyday during her morning walk and the reason, my house is the noisiest, dogs barking children howling, me shouting. She has a cup of coffee and shares her stories of isolation from others.
is it not apt that I have named this blog Living with dignity.
Today I went on to Mr. Amitabh Bachhan's blog bigb.bigadda.com to see what makes 400-500 followers, everyday come and peep into the site, read Mr. Bachhan's words of wisdom?? Oh yeah! him talking about Akshay Kumar and Deepika and their movies premiere in London, his discussions about the entire Bachhan clan, his opinions against the phenomenal movie, "Slum dog Millionaire".
I think I need to cultivate a few filmi friends to make this blog work.
Regards,
Sareeta
I was excited, and did it, I called literally each of my friends up and asked them to contribute about issues, incidences, cases,causes, opinions, defining moments, and everybody was like yes we will do it, but strangely enough except for a few actually none of them had anything to say, Surprised of course I am. When I have colloquiums, discussions and meetings in my office, everybody wants to talk, but through the blog very few want to speak.
I don't mean to point fingers at any of my friends, it is just that every day people who have been stigmatized drop by at my office, these are sad stories, yesterday a a young man of 18 from of a premier Engineering College dropped by to tell how he was harassed for his sexual orientation and his mannerisms, he said, "Madam, I try to control my mannerisms, but the more I do the more pronounced it becomes. I just don't know what to do, i want to be accepted and complete my studies.
A week back, we had to go to a village in Orissa, where a widow and her family had been beaten black and blue and kicked out of the village, their crime, her husband had died of AIDS related illnesses, and she was HIV positive.
In our neighbourhood, a women of 72 lives alone, as her children are in far off places, and she drops by everyday during her morning walk and the reason, my house is the noisiest, dogs barking children howling, me shouting. She has a cup of coffee and shares her stories of isolation from others.
is it not apt that I have named this blog Living with dignity.
Today I went on to Mr. Amitabh Bachhan's blog bigb.bigadda.com to see what makes 400-500 followers, everyday come and peep into the site, read Mr. Bachhan's words of wisdom?? Oh yeah! him talking about Akshay Kumar and Deepika and their movies premiere in London, his discussions about the entire Bachhan clan, his opinions against the phenomenal movie, "Slum dog Millionaire".
I think I need to cultivate a few filmi friends to make this blog work.
Regards,
Sareeta
Sanjay Dutt and his Prepostorous statement in today's Times of India.
In today's Times of India, Mr. Sanjay Dutt has stated the following,"Girls who become part of a new family after marriage must assume their new surname and all the responsibilities that come with it".
What does Mr. Dutt mean by this, does he mean that girls who do not change their surname are not loyal to their husband or their husbands family? do not take responsibility of their husband's family, and girls who take the responsibility of their parents cannot do justice to their own married life and their own families. Mr. Dutt should have come out with this statement when he was in jail for a horrendous crime that he committed, Mr. Dutt should have come out with this statement when he had nexus with the mafia from Dubai and his sisters and his father stood by him. I do not care about the likes of Mr. Sanjay Dutt, who believe that the role of the daughter in her parents life ends as soon as the daughter gets married. Mr.Sanjay Dutt is the son who never cared for the father's name or gave father the dignity that he deserved when he was alive, the daughters were the ones who stood by Mr. Sunil Dutt when he was alive. He now is talking about his father's legacy and who inherits the legacy.
Hats off!! Mr. Sanjay Dutt, India is proud of your views and opinions.
What does Mr. Dutt mean by this, does he mean that girls who do not change their surname are not loyal to their husband or their husbands family? do not take responsibility of their husband's family, and girls who take the responsibility of their parents cannot do justice to their own married life and their own families. Mr. Dutt should have come out with this statement when he was in jail for a horrendous crime that he committed, Mr. Dutt should have come out with this statement when he had nexus with the mafia from Dubai and his sisters and his father stood by him. I do not care about the likes of Mr. Sanjay Dutt, who believe that the role of the daughter in her parents life ends as soon as the daughter gets married. Mr.Sanjay Dutt is the son who never cared for the father's name or gave father the dignity that he deserved when he was alive, the daughters were the ones who stood by Mr. Sunil Dutt when he was alive. He now is talking about his father's legacy and who inherits the legacy.
Hats off!! Mr. Sanjay Dutt, India is proud of your views and opinions.
CHILD ABUSE
Lakshmi the seven year old daughter of my maid Malati is the same age as my younger daughter. Lakshmi adores her 21 year old uncle, Malati's brother. Malati very happily leaves her daughter with her brother when she comes to our house to work. Yesterday, Malati did not leave Lakshmi with her brother but brought her along to my house.
Lakshmi whispered in my years that her brother had sexually abused Lakshmi, and Lakshmi was afraid to go near her uncle. I was shocked and asked Malati whether she had reported this to the police, she had not as she felt it was of no use to report, as no one in her family would believe or support her, and she would unnecessarily be enemies with her family members as her brother would definitely refuse that he ever did anything wrong.
Do we really know the extent of child sexual abuse? oral and physical penetration, by relatives, neighbours, teachers, and relatives are common forms of sexual abuse, children are raped, sodomized and sexually exploited in different ways.
In Puri, in the Telugu basti of Penthakotha, children of the fisher folk are routinely abused with no support or help from anybody. I have seen children with massive sexually transmitted infections. They routinely go to pick up empty bottles to the guest houses in the beaches, where foreigners stay who abuse these children. I met a 17 year old boy who spoke fluent Germany but did not have any formal schooling, who was a sexual mate of 45 year old man from German since the past seven years. He has been promised that he would ultimately be taken away to Germany to live a grand live, and he lives with that dream
I know my friends who have been sexually abused when they were children, and out of shame had never been able to speak to anyone. I know children and adults when they were children, who have been routinely physically abused by their friends, relatives, parents and we justify these forms of abuse on children, saying, spare the rod and spoil the child.
We need to recognize it, and put our foot down to any form of abuse towards children. We are righteously complaining about 'Slum Dog Millionaire' because of its harsh portrayal of what slum children go through. We very happily burst crackers in Diwali and during marriages made by children of Sivakasi, we very happily wear bangles and take pride in our marriage and our family not knowing that they probably come from the glass factories of Firozabad, Agra, where young children are forced to work. in terrible conditions. These are forms of exploitation and abuse, denial and discrimination, 'WE NEED TO RECOGNIZE IT'
We need to sit down with our children give them some time, discuss with them the forms of discrimination, help them to recognize sexual abuse, physical abuse, discrimination, as these are long lasting and leave deep scars on the child's personality.
I dont mean to sound morbid, and I dont mean to say that what I have been saying is right, what I want to do is to help all who access this site into thinking that probably there is more to life than a good job, a good house and a good life.
Lakshmi whispered in my years that her brother had sexually abused Lakshmi, and Lakshmi was afraid to go near her uncle. I was shocked and asked Malati whether she had reported this to the police, she had not as she felt it was of no use to report, as no one in her family would believe or support her, and she would unnecessarily be enemies with her family members as her brother would definitely refuse that he ever did anything wrong.
Do we really know the extent of child sexual abuse? oral and physical penetration, by relatives, neighbours, teachers, and relatives are common forms of sexual abuse, children are raped, sodomized and sexually exploited in different ways.
In Puri, in the Telugu basti of Penthakotha, children of the fisher folk are routinely abused with no support or help from anybody. I have seen children with massive sexually transmitted infections. They routinely go to pick up empty bottles to the guest houses in the beaches, where foreigners stay who abuse these children. I met a 17 year old boy who spoke fluent Germany but did not have any formal schooling, who was a sexual mate of 45 year old man from German since the past seven years. He has been promised that he would ultimately be taken away to Germany to live a grand live, and he lives with that dream
I know my friends who have been sexually abused when they were children, and out of shame had never been able to speak to anyone. I know children and adults when they were children, who have been routinely physically abused by their friends, relatives, parents and we justify these forms of abuse on children, saying, spare the rod and spoil the child.
We need to recognize it, and put our foot down to any form of abuse towards children. We are righteously complaining about 'Slum Dog Millionaire' because of its harsh portrayal of what slum children go through. We very happily burst crackers in Diwali and during marriages made by children of Sivakasi, we very happily wear bangles and take pride in our marriage and our family not knowing that they probably come from the glass factories of Firozabad, Agra, where young children are forced to work. in terrible conditions. These are forms of exploitation and abuse, denial and discrimination, 'WE NEED TO RECOGNIZE IT'
We need to sit down with our children give them some time, discuss with them the forms of discrimination, help them to recognize sexual abuse, physical abuse, discrimination, as these are long lasting and leave deep scars on the child's personality.
I dont mean to sound morbid, and I dont mean to say that what I have been saying is right, what I want to do is to help all who access this site into thinking that probably there is more to life than a good job, a good house and a good life.
Mausi
62 Year old Mausi (as most people call her) is a hijra who was born apparently a male, however sees her self as a female. She has been in Bhubaneswar since the past twenty years, and currently lives within the hijra community Bhubaneswar. She is vocal and outspoken about the discrimination that hijra's face when they go out to earn money by begging or through prostitution.
Now that she is old she has not been working and she does not have any earning. Her community members take care of her, and she does menial work around the place that she lives in. What touched me about her is the disadvantages that she has to face being a hijra first and with age not being on her side. What touches me about all the hijras that I meet during my course of work is the disadvantages that they feel that they have been born with and the discrimination that they face to live. I look around at the sea of faces of all the hijras that I am meeting trying to learn more about their lives and their living and trying to make sense of everything that they have been sharing with me; the things that they would love to possess and that we take for granted, not having a identity in a city like Bhubaneswar, not having a voters card, not having a bank account, not being able to access basic services in the hospital.
I am humbled by the fact that respect, rights and dignity are available to so few and so many are left out, I am one of the selected few who has never had to raise my voice to get these.
I do hope that when the next time we see a hijra begging or walking past us, we do not laugh or ridicule them, and respect the diversity of sexuality and sexual orientation.
Now that she is old she has not been working and she does not have any earning. Her community members take care of her, and she does menial work around the place that she lives in. What touched me about her is the disadvantages that she has to face being a hijra first and with age not being on her side. What touches me about all the hijras that I meet during my course of work is the disadvantages that they feel that they have been born with and the discrimination that they face to live. I look around at the sea of faces of all the hijras that I am meeting trying to learn more about their lives and their living and trying to make sense of everything that they have been sharing with me; the things that they would love to possess and that we take for granted, not having a identity in a city like Bhubaneswar, not having a voters card, not having a bank account, not being able to access basic services in the hospital.
I am humbled by the fact that respect, rights and dignity are available to so few and so many are left out, I am one of the selected few who has never had to raise my voice to get these.
I do hope that when the next time we see a hijra begging or walking past us, we do not laugh or ridicule them, and respect the diversity of sexuality and sexual orientation.
Stigma and Discrimination
I think in order to understand what stigma and discrimination is we need to know what we mean by stigma and discrimination.
Stigma is a spoilt identity, to stigmatize is to label someone, to see them as inferior because of an attribute they have.
There are three types of stigma;
1. Self Stigma - self hatred, shame, blame, people feel they are being judged by others so they isolate themselves from their families and communities.
2. Felt Stigma- Perceptions of feelings towards an individual or community. This is very common, we see other castes, community as beneath us, we see individuals as beneath us or not as good or great as us.
3. Enacted stigma or the resulting discrimination - when it ends in abuse, violence, isolation or any cruelty enacted just because the perception that they are bad and indulging in bad activities or are not as good as us.
For us it is important to remember that individually all of us have fought self stigma and felt stigma and even enacted discrimination while growing up and are fighting it every day of our lives. Our own stories, be it a women or a girl child/boy child who has been abused, or a gay, or a hijra, or a drug user; our own stories reflected in this blog speaks out loud and clear about our struggles within ourselves and with the outside world. We have to come together to fight against all these three which is rampant in ODISHA.
Thank you Sohamm and Santosh for being a part of us in the fight against stigma and discrimination.
Sarita
Stigma is a spoilt identity, to stigmatize is to label someone, to see them as inferior because of an attribute they have.
There are three types of stigma;
1. Self Stigma - self hatred, shame, blame, people feel they are being judged by others so they isolate themselves from their families and communities.
2. Felt Stigma- Perceptions of feelings towards an individual or community. This is very common, we see other castes, community as beneath us, we see individuals as beneath us or not as good or great as us.
3. Enacted stigma or the resulting discrimination - when it ends in abuse, violence, isolation or any cruelty enacted just because the perception that they are bad and indulging in bad activities or are not as good as us.
For us it is important to remember that individually all of us have fought self stigma and felt stigma and even enacted discrimination while growing up and are fighting it every day of our lives. Our own stories, be it a women or a girl child/boy child who has been abused, or a gay, or a hijra, or a drug user; our own stories reflected in this blog speaks out loud and clear about our struggles within ourselves and with the outside world. We have to come together to fight against all these three which is rampant in ODISHA.
Thank you Sohamm and Santosh for being a part of us in the fight against stigma and discrimination.
Sarita
A Buddhist perspective on DSD
Sujata, a young disciple once asked Buddha, the enlightened one to teach her the things which would be easily understood.
Buddha the enlightened one said, ‘you are all intelligent children and I am sure you will be able to understand and practice things I will share with you…. When you children peel a tangerine (fruit like a small orange with loose skin) you can eat it with awareness or without awareness. What does it mean to eat a tangerine in awareness? When you are eating with awareness you fully experience its lovely fragrance and sweet taste. When you peel the tangerine you know that you are peeling the tangerine; when you remove a slice and put it in your mouth; you know that you are removing a slice and putting it in your mouth; when you experience the lovely fragrance and sweet taste of the tangerine, you are aware that you are experiencing the lovely fragrance and sweet taste of the tangerine, and you eat each morsel in awareness, chew each bite to get the most out of that morsel and saw how precious and wonderful taste the smell of each section of the tangerine is. When I eat the tangerine I do not forget how wonderful the tangerine is. And thus the tangerine is real; the person eating it is real. That is what it means to eat a tangerine in awareness.
When you eat a tangerine without awareness? You do not know that you are eating a tangerine; you do not experience the lovely fragrance and sweet taste of the tangerine. When you peel the tangerine you do not know that you are peeling the tangerine. You do not experience the lovely fragrance and the sweet taste of the tangerine. You gobble it up, without appreciating the sweetness or fragrance of the fruit. If you are unaware then you eat the tangerine in such a way that you cannot appreciate how wonderful and precious this fruit is. If you are not aware that you are eating the tangerine, it is not real, neither is the person eating it is real. That is eating a tangerine without awareness.
“A person who practices mindfulness and is conscious and aware of his/her action then you can see the beauty of each and every individual. Like a tangerine if one is aware than one sees thousand things which have made the tangerine possible. If you pay attention and are aware as to how you talk with others, how you perceive others without knowing them, how to avoid thoughts and actions that might hurt, cause sorrow and hatred, then you make very few mistakes and also learn to respect each living being”.
I love this story, this is in a book written by THICH NHAT HANH a Vietnamese Buddhist monk titled, ‘ Old Path White Clouds’ and somehow aptly sums up stigma and discrimination, awareness of your thought and action helps in understanding the five core values of human rights, Dignity, Respect, Choice, Equality and Diversity. Awareness of one own action and creating awareness amongst others is probably the best way to ensure Denial, Stigma and Discrimination are prevented.
Buddha the enlightened one said, ‘you are all intelligent children and I am sure you will be able to understand and practice things I will share with you…. When you children peel a tangerine (fruit like a small orange with loose skin) you can eat it with awareness or without awareness. What does it mean to eat a tangerine in awareness? When you are eating with awareness you fully experience its lovely fragrance and sweet taste. When you peel the tangerine you know that you are peeling the tangerine; when you remove a slice and put it in your mouth; you know that you are removing a slice and putting it in your mouth; when you experience the lovely fragrance and sweet taste of the tangerine, you are aware that you are experiencing the lovely fragrance and sweet taste of the tangerine, and you eat each morsel in awareness, chew each bite to get the most out of that morsel and saw how precious and wonderful taste the smell of each section of the tangerine is. When I eat the tangerine I do not forget how wonderful the tangerine is. And thus the tangerine is real; the person eating it is real. That is what it means to eat a tangerine in awareness.
When you eat a tangerine without awareness? You do not know that you are eating a tangerine; you do not experience the lovely fragrance and sweet taste of the tangerine. When you peel the tangerine you do not know that you are peeling the tangerine. You do not experience the lovely fragrance and the sweet taste of the tangerine. You gobble it up, without appreciating the sweetness or fragrance of the fruit. If you are unaware then you eat the tangerine in such a way that you cannot appreciate how wonderful and precious this fruit is. If you are not aware that you are eating the tangerine, it is not real, neither is the person eating it is real. That is eating a tangerine without awareness.
“A person who practices mindfulness and is conscious and aware of his/her action then you can see the beauty of each and every individual. Like a tangerine if one is aware than one sees thousand things which have made the tangerine possible. If you pay attention and are aware as to how you talk with others, how you perceive others without knowing them, how to avoid thoughts and actions that might hurt, cause sorrow and hatred, then you make very few mistakes and also learn to respect each living being”.
I love this story, this is in a book written by THICH NHAT HANH a Vietnamese Buddhist monk titled, ‘ Old Path White Clouds’ and somehow aptly sums up stigma and discrimination, awareness of your thought and action helps in understanding the five core values of human rights, Dignity, Respect, Choice, Equality and Diversity. Awareness of one own action and creating awareness amongst others is probably the best way to ensure Denial, Stigma and Discrimination are prevented.
A query
I recently recieved a query through SMS ( am unable to trace the number in my mobile)as follows:
What is second republic mentality in participatory programming?
Frankly to tell you the truth I donot have the answer to this, however I have tried to break the term up and understand what that exactly means.
Republic if I put it simply refers to being governed by elected representative of the people and a elected president(e.g Republic of China).
Mentality refers to a particular person's way of thinking.
Participatory programming refers to a process that involves all the stakeholders into a process or activity and produces certain outcomes which would be beneficial to all the stakeholders.
I am really not sure how to link all these terms up and come up with a definite answer, so all you blog readers if you have the answer to this, please respond, as I too am curious to know what 'second republic mentality in participatory programming refers to.
Sarita
What is second republic mentality in participatory programming?
Frankly to tell you the truth I donot have the answer to this, however I have tried to break the term up and understand what that exactly means.
Republic if I put it simply refers to being governed by elected representative of the people and a elected president(e.g Republic of China).
Mentality refers to a particular person's way of thinking.
Participatory programming refers to a process that involves all the stakeholders into a process or activity and produces certain outcomes which would be beneficial to all the stakeholders.
I am really not sure how to link all these terms up and come up with a definite answer, so all you blog readers if you have the answer to this, please respond, as I too am curious to know what 'second republic mentality in participatory programming refers to.
Sarita
What I believe in
There are certain issues which do have divergent opinions, and this is one of the issues which has many divergent opinions, ideas and beliefs. This is an issue which can be debated if there is an openness and honesty to learn, understand and empathize. However many a times many of the views are contradictory, and highly prejudiced and unashamedly anti-human, and I would not like to argue for the sake of an argument. This personally I feel is unhealthy and somehow does not do much to the cause that one believes in. I neither like debating about it or fighting with people to change their view. However my views on this is as follows:
For me homosexuality is something that one is, an unchosen orientation. Sexuality is genetically predetermined perhaps with some unknown environmental factor in early childhood which "turns on" the gene or genes. Neither heterosexuality, bisexuality, nor homosexuality is inherently sinful. IT IS FREE OF SIN if it is safe, consensual and, I do know many of my gay friends who are in a committed relationship, and are absolutely faithful to their partners. YES. Official recognition and legal approval of their relationship and government benefits are a fundamental civil right.
THIS IS WHAT I BELIEVE IN.
Hope this helps.
Sarita
For me homosexuality is something that one is, an unchosen orientation. Sexuality is genetically predetermined perhaps with some unknown environmental factor in early childhood which "turns on" the gene or genes. Neither heterosexuality, bisexuality, nor homosexuality is inherently sinful. IT IS FREE OF SIN if it is safe, consensual and, I do know many of my gay friends who are in a committed relationship, and are absolutely faithful to their partners. YES. Official recognition and legal approval of their relationship and government benefits are a fundamental civil right.
THIS IS WHAT I BELIEVE IN.
Hope this helps.
Sarita
HIV&AIDS Prevention Programme In Orissa
I published this brief below in AIDS INDIA Forum, and I have received many responses about the state of HIV&AIDS programme in Orissa.
Many of them are surprised that this state of affairs continues with the planners and educationist and wonder what would be the common man's opinion about HIV&AIDS.
Many of them are not surprised as they are working in Orissa and have heard these kinds of biased, wrong and irresponsible statements from those who are planning as well as those implementing the HIV&AIDS programme.
Many of them believe that this is a serious issue and needs to be taken at every level. Two of them have stated that they were a part of the mentioned meetings and have heard the remarks and were shocked when they heard it, but kept quiet in the meeting as they really did not know how to respond to it.
What do you do when you hear statements like this? Simply keep quiet or stand up and respond to the statement, this was one of the questions that a reader has asked me.
I can only tell you what I do when irresponsible statements like this are made. I stand up and respond and ensure that the statement is clarified. Red Ribbon clubs, workshops organized by Universities, and any other meetings are important place where people gather to hear facts; it is important that we stand up and ensure that at least correct and accurate information is provided to all.
ODISHA-1 will be organizing a series of one day media workshop where we will be discussing not only about HIV&AIDS reporting but also about misrepresenting factual information about HIV&AIDS and the resulting stigma and ongoing discrimination.
Mr. Loknath Mishra, a leading member of the consortium is going to lead this process. We hope that these kinds of initiative even though they are small will help and support the prevention process
Sarita
Many of them are surprised that this state of affairs continues with the planners and educationist and wonder what would be the common man's opinion about HIV&AIDS.
Many of them are not surprised as they are working in Orissa and have heard these kinds of biased, wrong and irresponsible statements from those who are planning as well as those implementing the HIV&AIDS programme.
Many of them believe that this is a serious issue and needs to be taken at every level. Two of them have stated that they were a part of the mentioned meetings and have heard the remarks and were shocked when they heard it, but kept quiet in the meeting as they really did not know how to respond to it.
What do you do when you hear statements like this? Simply keep quiet or stand up and respond to the statement, this was one of the questions that a reader has asked me.
I can only tell you what I do when irresponsible statements like this are made. I stand up and respond and ensure that the statement is clarified. Red Ribbon clubs, workshops organized by Universities, and any other meetings are important place where people gather to hear facts; it is important that we stand up and ensure that at least correct and accurate information is provided to all.
ODISHA-1 will be organizing a series of one day media workshop where we will be discussing not only about HIV&AIDS reporting but also about misrepresenting factual information about HIV&AIDS and the resulting stigma and ongoing discrimination.
Mr. Loknath Mishra, a leading member of the consortium is going to lead this process. We hope that these kinds of initiative even though they are small will help and support the prevention process
Sarita
email messages
evry fortnight I recieve forwarded mails from many of my friends inland and abroad, on child abuse, domestic violence, battered baby, poverty & natural calamity leading to malnutrition and death. The mails also write that forward this message to the persons you know so that these can be informed to all...the mails contain some of the shocking, unbelievable pictures. Some go through these mails in detail and even try to forward them, others go through them and just give a deep breath of sympathy, some even dont go through them at all or delete them, considering to be trash!! But what next?? Just forwarding theses mails is enough? Are we doing enough by just circulating these among our friends? These are neither any achievements to adorn our screensavers our add our names in the list of social scientists nor are these pieces of trash to be thrown into the garbage!! Today morning I got a mail on child abuse in South Africa. A 3 year old girl raped and beaten up by a man, a 9 mon old baby girl raped by 6 men!! its really stunning to read these and all these... due to the myth prevailing that sex with a virgin cures AIDS!! Disgusting how can people be so ruthless, brutal creatures?? Its high time that these mails should only be read and forwarded. It is alright that we have a prime responsibility of making people aware of all these but things are to be done beyond these....
A Poem
Nominated by UN as the best Poem of 2006
- Written by an African Kid
When I born, I black
When I grow up, I black
When I go in Sun, I black
When I scared, I black:
When I sick, I black
And when I die, I still black
And you white fellow:
When you born, you pink:
When you grow up, you white
When you go in sun, you red
When you cold, you blue:
When you scared, you yellow:
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you grey:
And you calling me colored??
- Written by an African Kid
When I born, I black
When I grow up, I black
When I go in Sun, I black
When I scared, I black:
When I sick, I black
And when I die, I still black
And you white fellow:
When you born, you pink:
When you grow up, you white
When you go in sun, you red
When you cold, you blue:
When you scared, you yellow:
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you grey:
And you calling me colored??
http://livingwithdignity-ritu.blogspot.com/2009/03/media-reporting-on-vulnerability-sexual.html
I stopped buying Indian Express as I felt that it no longer covered issues that I thought were relevant. For me working in the field of Sexual Reproductive Health & RIGHTS and HIV&AIDS it was important that social issues like livelihood, violence and abuse (against women, sexual minorities, and other vulnerable marginalized groups), empowerment, poverty alleviation etc. be addressed through media and reports, so that the wider civil society reads it empathizes with these issues and voluntarily comes forward to fight against it.
I did feel that these were issues not being covered by Indian Express. And in Orissa the choices of getting a newspaper which is impartial, unbaised is very limited. One of my close friends who knows me and my eccentricities gave me his subscription of Indian Express and asked me to go through it for a month. Surprises! Surprises, I loved it. In the month of February and March it covered a range of issues starting from crimes against women to the limited option of women having to chose between safety and freedom to sexual minorities issues. I had to eat my words about this newspaper. I have again started subscribing the newspaper. I am sharing one on Status of women for all my friends to read:
ORISSA Ranks high in crimes against women/Sunday/March8 2009/Page II
by Sanjeev Kumar Patro.
According to the latest National Crimes Record Bureau (NCRB) Orissa is placed 11th in the list of States ranked as per crimes against women and has accounted for 4% of such incidences recorded nationally. THe most disturbing fact is that nearly three women were being raped in the State every 24 hours. The cases under the Dowry Probibition Act have risen stupendously outscoring the national trend. With an increase of 25 percent nationally, Orissa alone accounts for one fourth of the cases. Suicides by women have risen by six percent in the state. Category wise, 71 women have ended their lives owing to dowry abuse or harassment in 2007, 14 for not conceiving, and 20 for the reason of cancellation of their marriage, an offshoot of probable dowry cause in 2007. Eleven women took to suicide to excape from terminal diseases like cancer against nil in males. this aspect highlights the economic subservience status of women in our society as treatment for diseseases scuh as cancer are considered to be costly. As many as 28 women committed suicide owing to divorce against nil in males, which is the third highest in the country. WIth 15 suicides owing to illegal pregnancies, Orissa is number two in the country with as high as 53 women in the State cutting short their lives owing to illicit relations.
Shame on us, that we still have not been able to provide freedom and safety to women in Orissa. And we in Odisha have still not understood why gender based budgeting is important to protect and keep women safe and free from discrimination in Orissa.
Sarita
I did feel that these were issues not being covered by Indian Express. And in Orissa the choices of getting a newspaper which is impartial, unbaised is very limited. One of my close friends who knows me and my eccentricities gave me his subscription of Indian Express and asked me to go through it for a month. Surprises! Surprises, I loved it. In the month of February and March it covered a range of issues starting from crimes against women to the limited option of women having to chose between safety and freedom to sexual minorities issues. I had to eat my words about this newspaper. I have again started subscribing the newspaper. I am sharing one on Status of women for all my friends to read:
ORISSA Ranks high in crimes against women/Sunday/March8 2009/Page II
by Sanjeev Kumar Patro.
According to the latest National Crimes Record Bureau (NCRB) Orissa is placed 11th in the list of States ranked as per crimes against women and has accounted for 4% of such incidences recorded nationally. THe most disturbing fact is that nearly three women were being raped in the State every 24 hours. The cases under the Dowry Probibition Act have risen stupendously outscoring the national trend. With an increase of 25 percent nationally, Orissa alone accounts for one fourth of the cases. Suicides by women have risen by six percent in the state. Category wise, 71 women have ended their lives owing to dowry abuse or harassment in 2007, 14 for not conceiving, and 20 for the reason of cancellation of their marriage, an offshoot of probable dowry cause in 2007. Eleven women took to suicide to excape from terminal diseases like cancer against nil in males. this aspect highlights the economic subservience status of women in our society as treatment for diseseases scuh as cancer are considered to be costly. As many as 28 women committed suicide owing to divorce against nil in males, which is the third highest in the country. WIth 15 suicides owing to illegal pregnancies, Orissa is number two in the country with as high as 53 women in the State cutting short their lives owing to illicit relations.
Shame on us, that we still have not been able to provide freedom and safety to women in Orissa. And we in Odisha have still not understood why gender based budgeting is important to protect and keep women safe and free from discrimination in Orissa.
Sarita
The anatomy of sexual abuse:
Since the past few months stories of sexual abuse(within homes) have been coming out in the open, Josep Fritzl in Austria and closer home is the Mumbai rape of a daughter by her father and the Shimla rape of children with disability by teachers in their own school. The reactions were surprising; many did not believe that this could be happening in India. Parents abuse both physical and sexual is quite common in India, we just don’t talk about it or like to think that it happens in India, we belief that all this is western import and safely brush it under the carpet.
Bad parenting is the worst possible secret in India, we turn our sons into bullies who revel in physical brutality, and we force our daughters to passively accept what is being doled out to them. In India we do believe that families do not require counseling on parenting, we believe that it is automatically learnt (as we believe sex should not be talked, discussed or taught as this is spontaneous and comes to you the day you are MARRIED) once we have children.
One of my acquaintance has a son below 18 who is really spoilt, vicious, manipulative, and communal to the core, I and people around her believe that he requires counseling, the mother of this bully has stopped talking to us as she believes that only mentally ill people go for counseling, I would like to tell her, “Madam, your son is mentally ill, he needs counseling”.
I know a acquaintance who beats up his daughter black and blue for no fault of hers, but each time we bring that up, he would say, ‘I do it for her own good’ otherwise she is going to get spoiled. I know of young boys being sexually abused by their elder cousins, uncles and their fathers’ friend. In fact recently a man in his thirties who had come for counseling shared with me his story where as a young child of 8 a 18 year old cousin had lured him to oral sex and that happened a number of times before he realized that something was wrong and started hiding from him, his parents would constantly push him to be with his elder cousin and beat him up when he refused to go near him. .
I know about a NGO in one of the Districts of Orissa who manages a women's shelter short stay home where young girls are brutally and sexually exploited by the chief and staff of the NGO. These are Government sponsored shelters, where monitoring is lax and where the person who monitors can be bought with a Rs. 599/- Peter England Shirt.
What have we been doing about this?? Nothing really because there is no established mechanism which will hear your stories and take necessary actions, nor do people think that this is a issue that needs attention.
More of these cases need to come out in the open and should be highlighted, so that we don't think that these incidences are BIZARRE, RARE and does not happen in a TRADITIONAL?? CARING?? FAMILY ORIENTED?? country like India, and more importantly it will make other family members aware and alert to these possibilities that might be happening under their nose.
Ultimately our goal should be to prevent and protect the tender and innocent children who still probably cannot comprehend that a crime has been perpetrated against them by the very near and dear ones that they love and cherish.
SARITA
Bad parenting is the worst possible secret in India, we turn our sons into bullies who revel in physical brutality, and we force our daughters to passively accept what is being doled out to them. In India we do believe that families do not require counseling on parenting, we believe that it is automatically learnt (as we believe sex should not be talked, discussed or taught as this is spontaneous and comes to you the day you are MARRIED) once we have children.
One of my acquaintance has a son below 18 who is really spoilt, vicious, manipulative, and communal to the core, I and people around her believe that he requires counseling, the mother of this bully has stopped talking to us as she believes that only mentally ill people go for counseling, I would like to tell her, “Madam, your son is mentally ill, he needs counseling”.
I know a acquaintance who beats up his daughter black and blue for no fault of hers, but each time we bring that up, he would say, ‘I do it for her own good’ otherwise she is going to get spoiled. I know of young boys being sexually abused by their elder cousins, uncles and their fathers’ friend. In fact recently a man in his thirties who had come for counseling shared with me his story where as a young child of 8 a 18 year old cousin had lured him to oral sex and that happened a number of times before he realized that something was wrong and started hiding from him, his parents would constantly push him to be with his elder cousin and beat him up when he refused to go near him. .
I know about a NGO in one of the Districts of Orissa who manages a women's shelter short stay home where young girls are brutally and sexually exploited by the chief and staff of the NGO. These are Government sponsored shelters, where monitoring is lax and where the person who monitors can be bought with a Rs. 599/- Peter England Shirt.
What have we been doing about this?? Nothing really because there is no established mechanism which will hear your stories and take necessary actions, nor do people think that this is a issue that needs attention.
More of these cases need to come out in the open and should be highlighted, so that we don't think that these incidences are BIZARRE, RARE and does not happen in a TRADITIONAL?? CARING?? FAMILY ORIENTED?? country like India, and more importantly it will make other family members aware and alert to these possibilities that might be happening under their nose.
Ultimately our goal should be to prevent and protect the tender and innocent children who still probably cannot comprehend that a crime has been perpetrated against them by the very near and dear ones that they love and cherish.
SARITA
Legalization of prostitution in New Zealand
An article in BBC NEWS by Henri Astier, Tuesday 17 March, 2009 which speaks about a society which has decriminalized prostitution.
In terms of attitudes towards prostitution, New Zealand and Europe are almost as diametrically opposed as they are in geography. Kiwis have opted for wholesale liberalisation of the sex trade, while Europeans are increasingly restricting it. When "Sophie", a medical worker from Christchurch, fell behind on her mortgage payments last year, she found that her job was not paying enough. Her only option was a temporary career change: she became a prostitute. "I needed money fast so I didn't lose my house," she explains. A soft-spoken 30-something with a shy smile, Sophie does not look like the stereotypical scarlet woman, even in the low-cut dress she wears at work. She does not feel like one either. "I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. I'm a vegetarian," she says, adding that she had qualms about her new job. But the city centre parlour she joined - basically a pub with a sitting area at the front and bedrooms at the back - was not the drug-fuelled dive she had imagined. "All the women here are lovely," she says. "We spend a lot of time sitting and talking. I'll stick it out a bit longer."
Good money
Some might question the morality of Sophie's choice, but legally it cannot be faulted.
Since the Prostitution Reform Act of 2003, brothels have been allowed to operate more or less freely. Sex workers have the same rights as everyone else. In the eyes of New Zealand's law, the oldest profession is just like any other.
This policy stands in marked contrast to Europe. In 1999 Sweden criminalised the purchase of sex services, and several countries are introducing similar laws in an attempt to combat trafficking.
Ask New Zealand sex workers what they think of Swedish-style strictures, and the response is overwhelmingly negative. "Whether you're prosecuting the men or the girls, you're still prosecuting the business," says "Lucy", 23, from Wellington.
Lucy works in Bon Ton, an exclusive establishment in the capital where an hour-long session costs NZ$400 (£140; $200). She says the reform has given her the opportunity to work for a legitimate business in a safe environment. "I make twice what I was earning in retail. I am appreciated by customers and my boss. I can work whenever I want to - it's by far the most gratifying work I've ever had," she says.
Legal rights
Lucy's manager, Sarah, also believes criminalising clients would be a disaster for the industry and put the girls at risk. "This would scare away the quality customers," she says. "We would be left with the dangerous sort. The nasty men won't go away."
Bon Ton - which thrives on "quality customers" like lawyers and civil servants - certainly looks like an ideal showcase for New Zealand-style liberalisation.
The bedrooms look like luxury suites, the upstairs office looks like - well... an office, and the workers say they are treated with respect. Sarah insists she has zero tolerance for abuse and will back the girls even if they refuse a client. "I can't force a woman to have sex," she says. As she speaks another girl appears at the door, draped in a towel. "Myah" looks at the work ahead, and realises that a client who often insists on having oral sex without a condom wants to see her. "I don't want him," Myah says. "No problem," Sarah replies. "I'll tell him you're not available." Myah is not afraid to turn down work. Her health is at stake, and the law requires a condom for any commercial sex act. "It is my legal right to make that demand," she says. But are the benefits from legalisation confined to high-end businesses like Bon Ton? According to Catherine Healy of the New Zealand Prostitutes Collective (NZPC), better and safer working practices are now the norm. Across the industry, she says, women are now aware of their rights and exploitative brothel owners are becoming marginalised as a result of the reform.
"Sex workers say: I can work across town," she says. "The dynamic has altered."
Anna Reed, who was a sex worker in Christchurch for 23 years and is now NZPC's local spokesperson, agrees that exploitative practices have become rare. "Owners used to demand huge fines for being late. They used to hire and fire workers without reason." But now, she says, "girls feel more able to stand up for themselves".
Limited change
Another key benefit of decriminalisation, according to Ms Healy, is a sea change in relations with the police: "If you're the one committing a crime, you won't ask the police for help." Now, Ms Healy says, the girls find law enforcement officials are on their side. This idea was borne out by a parliamentary report last year, which gave a positive assessment of the reform. It said prostitutes were more likely to report violence to police, and officers were treating their complaints seriously. Some brothel operators, however, are not so sure the reform has made a big difference. Bon Ton owner Jennifer - who got into the sex business after decriminalisation - says some old-style establishments are still exploiting people. "This is still an industry in transition," she says. Monique, who ran brothels before 2003 and now owns Capri, a "Gentleman's club and garden bar" in Christchurch, also plays down the impact of the reform - but for the opposite reason. She says relations with police were good even when bordellos operated illegally. And then, as now, exploitation of girls was never widespread, Monique adds. "We now have a fat, legal agreement with the workers but they are treated the same."
Suspicions
A sure sign that New Zealand's sex trade has not been entirely revolutionised is that society still frowns on it. Last year a teacher was sacked when it was learnt that she occasionally - and perfectly legally - moonlighted as a prostitute. Many sex workers keep a regular part-time job to avoid leaving suspicious gaps on their CVs. They tell only trusted friends about their main activity. None of the working prostitutes and madams interviewed for this report was ready to give their real names. Brothels may be legal but most New Zealanders prefer not to live next to one. Bon Ton never mentions an address in its adverts - only a phone number. In Christchurch operators had to fight a proposed zoning law that would have kept them out of most areas. But the overwhelming majority in the business feels huge progress was made when the industry emerged from the shadow. Anna Reed says she loved working as a prostitute - "I had sex, money and men!" - and resents enduring clichés about a job no-one in her right mind could willingly embrace. "We get so pissed off when politicians portray us as victims," she says. "It's important to blow down the stereotypes about sex workers - particularly that of the poor girl who is coerced into doing it."
ODISHA-One
In terms of attitudes towards prostitution, New Zealand and Europe are almost as diametrically opposed as they are in geography. Kiwis have opted for wholesale liberalisation of the sex trade, while Europeans are increasingly restricting it. When "Sophie", a medical worker from Christchurch, fell behind on her mortgage payments last year, she found that her job was not paying enough. Her only option was a temporary career change: she became a prostitute. "I needed money fast so I didn't lose my house," she explains. A soft-spoken 30-something with a shy smile, Sophie does not look like the stereotypical scarlet woman, even in the low-cut dress she wears at work. She does not feel like one either. "I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. I'm a vegetarian," she says, adding that she had qualms about her new job. But the city centre parlour she joined - basically a pub with a sitting area at the front and bedrooms at the back - was not the drug-fuelled dive she had imagined. "All the women here are lovely," she says. "We spend a lot of time sitting and talking. I'll stick it out a bit longer."
Good money
Some might question the morality of Sophie's choice, but legally it cannot be faulted.
Since the Prostitution Reform Act of 2003, brothels have been allowed to operate more or less freely. Sex workers have the same rights as everyone else. In the eyes of New Zealand's law, the oldest profession is just like any other.
This policy stands in marked contrast to Europe. In 1999 Sweden criminalised the purchase of sex services, and several countries are introducing similar laws in an attempt to combat trafficking.
Ask New Zealand sex workers what they think of Swedish-style strictures, and the response is overwhelmingly negative. "Whether you're prosecuting the men or the girls, you're still prosecuting the business," says "Lucy", 23, from Wellington.
Lucy works in Bon Ton, an exclusive establishment in the capital where an hour-long session costs NZ$400 (£140; $200). She says the reform has given her the opportunity to work for a legitimate business in a safe environment. "I make twice what I was earning in retail. I am appreciated by customers and my boss. I can work whenever I want to - it's by far the most gratifying work I've ever had," she says.
Legal rights
Lucy's manager, Sarah, also believes criminalising clients would be a disaster for the industry and put the girls at risk. "This would scare away the quality customers," she says. "We would be left with the dangerous sort. The nasty men won't go away."
Bon Ton - which thrives on "quality customers" like lawyers and civil servants - certainly looks like an ideal showcase for New Zealand-style liberalisation.
The bedrooms look like luxury suites, the upstairs office looks like - well... an office, and the workers say they are treated with respect. Sarah insists she has zero tolerance for abuse and will back the girls even if they refuse a client. "I can't force a woman to have sex," she says. As she speaks another girl appears at the door, draped in a towel. "Myah" looks at the work ahead, and realises that a client who often insists on having oral sex without a condom wants to see her. "I don't want him," Myah says. "No problem," Sarah replies. "I'll tell him you're not available." Myah is not afraid to turn down work. Her health is at stake, and the law requires a condom for any commercial sex act. "It is my legal right to make that demand," she says. But are the benefits from legalisation confined to high-end businesses like Bon Ton? According to Catherine Healy of the New Zealand Prostitutes Collective (NZPC), better and safer working practices are now the norm. Across the industry, she says, women are now aware of their rights and exploitative brothel owners are becoming marginalised as a result of the reform.
"Sex workers say: I can work across town," she says. "The dynamic has altered."
Anna Reed, who was a sex worker in Christchurch for 23 years and is now NZPC's local spokesperson, agrees that exploitative practices have become rare. "Owners used to demand huge fines for being late. They used to hire and fire workers without reason." But now, she says, "girls feel more able to stand up for themselves".
Limited change
Another key benefit of decriminalisation, according to Ms Healy, is a sea change in relations with the police: "If you're the one committing a crime, you won't ask the police for help." Now, Ms Healy says, the girls find law enforcement officials are on their side. This idea was borne out by a parliamentary report last year, which gave a positive assessment of the reform. It said prostitutes were more likely to report violence to police, and officers were treating their complaints seriously. Some brothel operators, however, are not so sure the reform has made a big difference. Bon Ton owner Jennifer - who got into the sex business after decriminalisation - says some old-style establishments are still exploiting people. "This is still an industry in transition," she says. Monique, who ran brothels before 2003 and now owns Capri, a "Gentleman's club and garden bar" in Christchurch, also plays down the impact of the reform - but for the opposite reason. She says relations with police were good even when bordellos operated illegally. And then, as now, exploitation of girls was never widespread, Monique adds. "We now have a fat, legal agreement with the workers but they are treated the same."
Suspicions
A sure sign that New Zealand's sex trade has not been entirely revolutionised is that society still frowns on it. Last year a teacher was sacked when it was learnt that she occasionally - and perfectly legally - moonlighted as a prostitute. Many sex workers keep a regular part-time job to avoid leaving suspicious gaps on their CVs. They tell only trusted friends about their main activity. None of the working prostitutes and madams interviewed for this report was ready to give their real names. Brothels may be legal but most New Zealanders prefer not to live next to one. Bon Ton never mentions an address in its adverts - only a phone number. In Christchurch operators had to fight a proposed zoning law that would have kept them out of most areas. But the overwhelming majority in the business feels huge progress was made when the industry emerged from the shadow. Anna Reed says she loved working as a prostitute - "I had sex, money and men!" - and resents enduring clichés about a job no-one in her right mind could willingly embrace. "We get so pissed off when politicians portray us as victims," she says. "It's important to blow down the stereotypes about sex workers - particularly that of the poor girl who is coerced into doing it."
ODISHA-One
Harassment at Workplace
Harassment at workplace is nothing new, recently in a non government organization the male members of the organization ganged up and complained against one of their woman colleague to their seniors. The complaint was that she was not allowing the others to spend resources as freely as they would have wanted to, she put in a lot of quality checks to spending and she wanted a spending plan for the money that was being spent for community led initiatives. The seniors took this too seriously and have initiated a investigation to these, "ALLEGATIONS".
One wonders where did the woman go wrong, she wanted quality checks which we rarely integrate into any programme management cycle, she wanted a spending plan which is a important issue in spending resources especially in a resource poor state like Orissa.
Where are we actually heading to as we constantly talk of equality and equity. Have these remained mere jargons and buzz words to recieve more funds from international agency? Despite the fact that women have proved their worth, and proved that they are talented and can lead, they are not given opportunities. Women who are ambitious, assertive and who can give males a competition are still looked down upon and are still thought of as bossy, irritating women, who need to be either beaten up or removed from the organization. I know a unmarried female friend of mine who is highly professional and very much in demand because of her analytical skills is constantly called by her male counterparts a lesbo( a slang for lesbian), because she shines in most of the meeting that she goes to and her ideas are accepted and activities are undertaken.
The NGO sector in Orissa has never ever thought of quality checks within their organizations, nor have they made place for professional women who can contribute substantially to Project cycle management and growth of the organization. The NGO sector has also learnt how to circumvent donor demands and create personal fiefdoms of their own. If the donor looks for women representation within the organization then the wives and maid servants find a place in the Governing Body. In fact in one of the organization that I had visited, the Founder's (who was the Chief Functionary in the organization since the past fifteen years) Cook was the Treasurer.
Why are NGOs who are supposed to be the conscience of the community and civil society at large treat women so poorly, who will address harassment to women at workplace, we still have not established grievance cells to address sexual harassment at workplace which is something every society should have to protect the rights of the women. SO when will we be protecting the rights of the women at workplace. And when will we be actually focussing on protecting the core values of human rights: Respect, Equality, Choice, Diversity and Dignity.
DO share more stories on harassment at workplace we could work together on this.
Sarita.
One wonders where did the woman go wrong, she wanted quality checks which we rarely integrate into any programme management cycle, she wanted a spending plan which is a important issue in spending resources especially in a resource poor state like Orissa.
Where are we actually heading to as we constantly talk of equality and equity. Have these remained mere jargons and buzz words to recieve more funds from international agency? Despite the fact that women have proved their worth, and proved that they are talented and can lead, they are not given opportunities. Women who are ambitious, assertive and who can give males a competition are still looked down upon and are still thought of as bossy, irritating women, who need to be either beaten up or removed from the organization. I know a unmarried female friend of mine who is highly professional and very much in demand because of her analytical skills is constantly called by her male counterparts a lesbo( a slang for lesbian), because she shines in most of the meeting that she goes to and her ideas are accepted and activities are undertaken.
The NGO sector in Orissa has never ever thought of quality checks within their organizations, nor have they made place for professional women who can contribute substantially to Project cycle management and growth of the organization. The NGO sector has also learnt how to circumvent donor demands and create personal fiefdoms of their own. If the donor looks for women representation within the organization then the wives and maid servants find a place in the Governing Body. In fact in one of the organization that I had visited, the Founder's (who was the Chief Functionary in the organization since the past fifteen years) Cook was the Treasurer.
Why are NGOs who are supposed to be the conscience of the community and civil society at large treat women so poorly, who will address harassment to women at workplace, we still have not established grievance cells to address sexual harassment at workplace which is something every society should have to protect the rights of the women. SO when will we be protecting the rights of the women at workplace. And when will we be actually focussing on protecting the core values of human rights: Respect, Equality, Choice, Diversity and Dignity.
DO share more stories on harassment at workplace we could work together on this.
Sarita.
Myths in community
recently, we organized a training on SRH at Mali Sahi. Really, It's very interesting. They have lots of myths. 20 partcipants attended the training. After training, I found that the knowledge level on SRH of about 40% partcipants is improved to 80% which was very less prior to the training. Most of the trainee are illiterate. So, Group discussion, pictorial method, story telling , interactive methods are followed to facilitate the sessions. But interesting points are they coined new terms to understand the technical terms on SRH. They get clarified many myths & if anybody disturb in the session, others became very reactive to the disturber. I am very happy for the same. But, I feel that I need to devise some new interesting tools for these ignorant adult people. They are very aggressive, impatient also. So, the facilitator need to facilitate them in such a way that they will enjoy the learning. They have very interesting concepts on SRH as follows:
If a couple will intercourse after 03 days of menstruation, then the sex of the child will be female. If it will happen on 5th day after menstruation, then the sex of the child will be male.
During menstruation, they feel that placent is a red coloured flower which blooms in the uterous & after menstruation, it will be closed. Again in next menstruation it blooms....
They are unaware about their clitoris.
In male organs, they coined new terms like
Prostrate gland- Sukra Bahi Nali
Seminal Vesicle- Birya Thali
Cervix- Chua ghara kabata
Uterus- Chua Ghara
5. Sex is determined by god.
6. Menstruation is impure / dirty.
Similarly, many myths they have. We do review of the day to assess the training. But I need support to devise some new tools to assess the training. I need support for the same.
Rashmita Samal
BBR
If a couple will intercourse after 03 days of menstruation, then the sex of the child will be female. If it will happen on 5th day after menstruation, then the sex of the child will be male.
During menstruation, they feel that placent is a red coloured flower which blooms in the uterous & after menstruation, it will be closed. Again in next menstruation it blooms....
They are unaware about their clitoris.
In male organs, they coined new terms like
Prostrate gland- Sukra Bahi Nali
Seminal Vesicle- Birya Thali
Cervix- Chua ghara kabata
Uterus- Chua Ghara
5. Sex is determined by god.
6. Menstruation is impure / dirty.
Similarly, many myths they have. We do review of the day to assess the training. But I need support to devise some new tools to assess the training. I need support for the same.
Rashmita Samal
BBR
HIV&AIDS and Orissa
The first case of HIV infection in Orissa was reported in 1992 in the District of Nayagarh and the first reported death due to AIDS was in 1993 and was reported from Ganjam. Since then a cumulative total of 1036 AIDS cases have been reported while the estimated numbers of HIV cases are 11,436. (OSACS, Nov 2008). 4900 people have been registered for treatment at ART centres of Cuttack and Berhampur. The number of death cases reported is 803.
However these figures may not be a true reflection of the HIV status in Orissa as:
- No comprehensive study has been conducted to assess the magnitude of the problem.
- Although ICTC/VCCTC facilities are available, there are intermittent gaps in procurement and distribution of essentials such as testing kits.
- No stringent adherence to disease surveillance guidelines as a result many a times in many of the district level data seems to be either inflated or there is underreporting.
In the district of Ganjam the epidemic, which was initially concentrated in certain localities and certain subpopulation, has now spilled over into the wider population. Ganjam also accounts for 43% of all AIDS Cases reported from Orissa. On the national level, Ganjam district is ranked as eighth of the 14 most HIV-affected districts, and has been given a Grade ‘A’, since more than 1 % of the population is now affected by AIDS. As per the latest figures, available from the Behaviour Surveillance Survey Report 2006, Orissa has a prevalence rate of 0.22 % among adult population. Among the districts, Ganjam was at the top with 3.25% followed by Angul with 1.75%, Bolangir 1.25% and Bhadrak 1%.
Despite this grim scenario in Ganjam, only 4 Targeted Intervention Programme are currently being implemented through three NGOs. Aruna which is implementing two of the TIs, GPSS one and a new organization Janasadhana has been working since the past one month.
The population covered through these TIs is hardly 50,000. What is worrying is that though all the 22 Blocks have reported positive cases with Aska and Hinjilikat leading, the TIs are only being implemented in two of the Blocks.
Many National/International Organizations have come to Ganjam and expressed their concern about the situation in Ganjam, however they have rarely spent their resources. Many National/International organizations have access to resources to be spent on HIV&AIDS in Orissa, however majority of the money is not spent on community level initiatives or strenghtening the capacity of local NGOs/CBOs (who will be very effective in prevention initiatives) but on establishing structures of their own, and that too not in Ganjam but in Bhubaneswar. The need of the hour is not establish layers and layers within one's own organization but to build the capacity of local CBOs and NGOs to tackle migration and HIV&AIDS and create a sustainable initiative.
I sincerely do hope that NGOs and CBOs and other civil society organizations come together and along with the Government act as pressure groups for national/international organizations and plan which are the priority areas in Orissa where resources should be poured in and who should be the major beneficiaries of these resources.
However these figures may not be a true reflection of the HIV status in Orissa as:
- No comprehensive study has been conducted to assess the magnitude of the problem.
- Although ICTC/VCCTC facilities are available, there are intermittent gaps in procurement and distribution of essentials such as testing kits.
- No stringent adherence to disease surveillance guidelines as a result many a times in many of the district level data seems to be either inflated or there is underreporting.
In the district of Ganjam the epidemic, which was initially concentrated in certain localities and certain subpopulation, has now spilled over into the wider population. Ganjam also accounts for 43% of all AIDS Cases reported from Orissa. On the national level, Ganjam district is ranked as eighth of the 14 most HIV-affected districts, and has been given a Grade ‘A’, since more than 1 % of the population is now affected by AIDS. As per the latest figures, available from the Behaviour Surveillance Survey Report 2006, Orissa has a prevalence rate of 0.22 % among adult population. Among the districts, Ganjam was at the top with 3.25% followed by Angul with 1.75%, Bolangir 1.25% and Bhadrak 1%.
Despite this grim scenario in Ganjam, only 4 Targeted Intervention Programme are currently being implemented through three NGOs. Aruna which is implementing two of the TIs, GPSS one and a new organization Janasadhana has been working since the past one month.
The population covered through these TIs is hardly 50,000. What is worrying is that though all the 22 Blocks have reported positive cases with Aska and Hinjilikat leading, the TIs are only being implemented in two of the Blocks.
Many National/International Organizations have come to Ganjam and expressed their concern about the situation in Ganjam, however they have rarely spent their resources. Many National/International organizations have access to resources to be spent on HIV&AIDS in Orissa, however majority of the money is not spent on community level initiatives or strenghtening the capacity of local NGOs/CBOs (who will be very effective in prevention initiatives) but on establishing structures of their own, and that too not in Ganjam but in Bhubaneswar. The need of the hour is not establish layers and layers within one's own organization but to build the capacity of local CBOs and NGOs to tackle migration and HIV&AIDS and create a sustainable initiative.
I sincerely do hope that NGOs and CBOs and other civil society organizations come together and along with the Government act as pressure groups for national/international organizations and plan which are the priority areas in Orissa where resources should be poured in and who should be the major beneficiaries of these resources.
ANARKALI KINNAR: A true Indian
This year election in Orissa was different, and one that will be remembered at least for all of us at ODISHA-One. Anarkali Kinnar (Kali Mausi to her loved ones) a hijra residing near Vani Vihar Square, Bhubaneswar, for the first time got an opportunity to cast her vote. Though Kali Mausi and the names of other hijras residing with her had with a lot of difficulty been included in the electoral list however they had been told they would not be able to cast their votes as they did not have any photo identity proofs, (EC had listed out 13 photo identity proofs, e.g. driving license, pan card, ration card etc.).
Kali Mausi met many NGOs, Officials and begged them to give her and her community an opportunity to vote, but without any success. On 23 April, Kali Mausi went early in the morning to beg and convince the polling officers of the 112 Assembly Constituency/Booth at Sahidnagar Primary School to cast her vote. The Polling Officers who were initially reluctant, took a lenient view and gave her permission to cast her vote when she showed them her marriage certificate and marriage photographs.
Kali Mausi was ecstatic and gave credit for this to a Community Mobilizer, Lakhmidhar Pradhan working in an EU/Interact/Lepra Project in the slums of Bhubaneswar. Lakhmidhar Pradhan has been tirelessly working with the hijras and other marginalized and invisible communities in the slums of Bhubaneswar since the last sixteen years, and since the past one year he had been trying to enroll the names of all the hijras in the electoral list.
‘This is my birthright and I deserve to vote’ was all that Kali Mausi expressed when asked how she felt.
Kali Mausi met many NGOs, Officials and begged them to give her and her community an opportunity to vote, but without any success. On 23 April, Kali Mausi went early in the morning to beg and convince the polling officers of the 112 Assembly Constituency/Booth at Sahidnagar Primary School to cast her vote. The Polling Officers who were initially reluctant, took a lenient view and gave her permission to cast her vote when she showed them her marriage certificate and marriage photographs.
Kali Mausi was ecstatic and gave credit for this to a Community Mobilizer, Lakhmidhar Pradhan working in an EU/Interact/Lepra Project in the slums of Bhubaneswar. Lakhmidhar Pradhan has been tirelessly working with the hijras and other marginalized and invisible communities in the slums of Bhubaneswar since the last sixteen years, and since the past one year he had been trying to enroll the names of all the hijras in the electoral list.
‘This is my birthright and I deserve to vote’ was all that Kali Mausi expressed when asked how she felt.
EQUAL EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY
The term Equal Employment Opportunity was created by President Lyndon B. Johnson when he signed Executive Order 11246 on September 24, 1965, created to prohibit federal contractors from discriminating against employees on the basis of race, sex, creed, religion, color, or national origin (wikipaedia).
In India in the NGO sector with donor pressure equal employment opportunity has been added to increase the participation of minorities, vulnerable groups, sexual minorities and women in the workplace. Every advertisement in the paper placed by civil society organizations, voluntary organizations carries in very small fonts, and specifies, that they are equal opportunity employer and would like women, PLHIV, sexual minorities to apply.
But do these workplaces encourage and promote equal employment opportunity?
Do these workplace sensitize its workers on appropriate behaviour and appropriate attitude free from discrimination on the basis of race, sex, creed, religion, sexual behaviour, PLHIV status?
No not really, employers/employees still carry their baggage and discriminatory behaviour, attitude and this is reflected in the way they behave with those who they think are beneath them.
A PLHIV friend of mine who is working as GIPA Coordinator in one of the State Control Societies was moaning about the attitude of his colleagues in the office, who have sidelined him and isolated him within the office. He is never invited to meetings and forces himself on everybody to at least notice him. He is scared of complaining as he fears that he might lose his job and somebody else who is close to the Project Director might get this job.
In a national level organization with international donors lining up their door, which works on Malaria, tuberculosis, HIV&AIDS etc, the Regional Director proudly said in one of the meetings with us that it was an equal employment opportunity organization and the receptionist was a female and its Community Organizers were women. We were sitting in a room full of men in this particular organization in which I and my colleagues were the only females.
Have we really created a workplace which is friendly to all and which can be accessed and is discrimination free?
Have we trained all within our organizations on stigma and discrimination and established a professional atmosphere which promotes and provides dignity to all and is free from biases and prejudices against women, PLHIV/AIDS, sexual minorities, caste, skin colour etc.
Next time when you see an advertisement equal employment opportunity or the next time when your organization proudly claims that it is an equal employment opportunity agency think hard and assess whether these claims are true; if yes then great but if
it is not what can you do to change this?
In India in the NGO sector with donor pressure equal employment opportunity has been added to increase the participation of minorities, vulnerable groups, sexual minorities and women in the workplace. Every advertisement in the paper placed by civil society organizations, voluntary organizations carries in very small fonts, and specifies, that they are equal opportunity employer and would like women, PLHIV, sexual minorities to apply.
But do these workplaces encourage and promote equal employment opportunity?
Do these workplace sensitize its workers on appropriate behaviour and appropriate attitude free from discrimination on the basis of race, sex, creed, religion, sexual behaviour, PLHIV status?
No not really, employers/employees still carry their baggage and discriminatory behaviour, attitude and this is reflected in the way they behave with those who they think are beneath them.
A PLHIV friend of mine who is working as GIPA Coordinator in one of the State Control Societies was moaning about the attitude of his colleagues in the office, who have sidelined him and isolated him within the office. He is never invited to meetings and forces himself on everybody to at least notice him. He is scared of complaining as he fears that he might lose his job and somebody else who is close to the Project Director might get this job.
In a national level organization with international donors lining up their door, which works on Malaria, tuberculosis, HIV&AIDS etc, the Regional Director proudly said in one of the meetings with us that it was an equal employment opportunity organization and the receptionist was a female and its Community Organizers were women. We were sitting in a room full of men in this particular organization in which I and my colleagues were the only females.
Have we really created a workplace which is friendly to all and which can be accessed and is discrimination free?
Have we trained all within our organizations on stigma and discrimination and established a professional atmosphere which promotes and provides dignity to all and is free from biases and prejudices against women, PLHIV/AIDS, sexual minorities, caste, skin colour etc.
Next time when you see an advertisement equal employment opportunity or the next time when your organization proudly claims that it is an equal employment opportunity agency think hard and assess whether these claims are true; if yes then great but if
it is not what can you do to change this?
EQUAL EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY-Part II
A complaint/petition has been filed by Shri. Banamali Naik, to Orissa State AIDS Control Society, last month on second April 2009. As detailed out in the petition Mr. Naik had applied for the post of Community Care Coordinator in the ART Centre, Berhampur. Mr. Banamali Naik is a PLHIV and a graduate, and is desperately searching for a job. However the man selected for the post is a matriculate and a person neither infected nor affected with the virus, but had one plus point, he was a candidate related to the Principal of MKCG Medical College, Berhampur, who vociferously promoted him. The Principal of MKCG Medical College was a part of the selection board.
The petition/grievance letter instead of coming to the GIPA Coordinator for addressal went to the State Mainstreaming Unit, who after sitting over the petition for over a month sent it to the CARE, SUPPORT TREATMENT Consultant, Dr. U. K. Tripathy, who incidentally was a member of the selection board of the same interview for his views. Dr. U. K. Tripathy in his noting has detailed out the reason for not selecting Shri. Banamali Naik citing that as Mr. Naik was above 40 years of age, he was not selected. Dr. U. K. Tripathy himself is a retired gentleman above 60 and is very efficiently and effectively serving as CST Consultant in Orissa State AIDS CONTROL SOCIETY.
One needs to ask Orissa State Control Society the following questions:
- What is the job description of the GIPA COORDINATOR and why was he not a part of the selection process?
- What does equal employment opportunity mean to Orissa State AIDS Control Society and how have they been adhering to it?
- Why does NACO stress upon equal employment opportunity in all the State AIDS Control Societies when the State of Orissa does not believe in it, and how does NACO ensure that the State Control Societies adhere to the norms and operational guidelines developed by NACO?
The petition/grievance letter instead of coming to the GIPA Coordinator for addressal went to the State Mainstreaming Unit, who after sitting over the petition for over a month sent it to the CARE, SUPPORT TREATMENT Consultant, Dr. U. K. Tripathy, who incidentally was a member of the selection board of the same interview for his views. Dr. U. K. Tripathy in his noting has detailed out the reason for not selecting Shri. Banamali Naik citing that as Mr. Naik was above 40 years of age, he was not selected. Dr. U. K. Tripathy himself is a retired gentleman above 60 and is very efficiently and effectively serving as CST Consultant in Orissa State AIDS CONTROL SOCIETY.
One needs to ask Orissa State Control Society the following questions:
- What is the job description of the GIPA COORDINATOR and why was he not a part of the selection process?
- What does equal employment opportunity mean to Orissa State AIDS Control Society and how have they been adhering to it?
- Why does NACO stress upon equal employment opportunity in all the State AIDS Control Societies when the State of Orissa does not believe in it, and how does NACO ensure that the State Control Societies adhere to the norms and operational guidelines developed by NACO?
Are we well protected???
My daughter has been getting malicious, obscene and abusive calls and messages from three anonymous phone numbers since the past two/three months. Initially I ignored it but then I realized that it was slowly getting out of hand and could be dangerous for me and my family and so I along with my husband went to the local Police Station to hand over our detailed application so that a FIR could be lodged for the police to take necessary action. The Police Inspector in Charge was very kind and considerate and said he would look into the matters immediately. Seven days went by still when there was no sign of the messages stopping or any response from the police station, my husband went to the police station again, there for the first time he realized that the complaint was not yet registered, and the Inspector in Charge was reluctant to even formally record it in the station diary.
He went to the Commissionerate of Police office to discuss with the higher police officials. He met a higher official; surprisingly the higher official was very reluctant and asked my husband as to why we were getting these calls when he or his family never got any calls making my husband feel as if we were the perpetrators. My husband was surprised and shocked and angry with the response.
Now I realize why there is so much of fear amongst the marginalized and vulnerable groups and communities that I work with when I suggest that they should go to police with their complaints on violation, abuse of their rights. I realized then and there how difficult it must be for an ordinary citizen to first approach a police station to lodge a complaint as an FIR (a station diary is not a FIR I knew the difference only after this experience).
SO what is the difference between a FIR and a station diary? In brief FIR or First Information Reports have to immediately be registered by Officers who are in-charge of a police station based on a complaint or information given by a victim regarding any cognizable offence. By cognizable offence the law says that any offence in which a police officer may in accordance with the first schedule or CR P.C (1973) or under any other law for the time being without any force arrest without warrant. The Station General Diary is used just to record every major incident (e.g. theft, murder, traffic accidents) happening within the jurisdiction of the police station on a daily basis. The General Diary is likely to be maintained by a veteran Head Constable, and is just a record of events which does not necessarily culminate into action taken by the police station. If the complaint has not been lodged as an FIR then the police are under obligation to investigate the matter and file an investigation report, however in case of a Station General Diary they are not under any obligation to file any written report or investigate.
This is just a drop of information on how one can take the help of police. I am surely going to learn more about this system and I will keep you all posted.
He went to the Commissionerate of Police office to discuss with the higher police officials. He met a higher official; surprisingly the higher official was very reluctant and asked my husband as to why we were getting these calls when he or his family never got any calls making my husband feel as if we were the perpetrators. My husband was surprised and shocked and angry with the response.
Now I realize why there is so much of fear amongst the marginalized and vulnerable groups and communities that I work with when I suggest that they should go to police with their complaints on violation, abuse of their rights. I realized then and there how difficult it must be for an ordinary citizen to first approach a police station to lodge a complaint as an FIR (a station diary is not a FIR I knew the difference only after this experience).
SO what is the difference between a FIR and a station diary? In brief FIR or First Information Reports have to immediately be registered by Officers who are in-charge of a police station based on a complaint or information given by a victim regarding any cognizable offence. By cognizable offence the law says that any offence in which a police officer may in accordance with the first schedule or CR P.C (1973) or under any other law for the time being without any force arrest without warrant. The Station General Diary is used just to record every major incident (e.g. theft, murder, traffic accidents) happening within the jurisdiction of the police station on a daily basis. The General Diary is likely to be maintained by a veteran Head Constable, and is just a record of events which does not necessarily culminate into action taken by the police station. If the complaint has not been lodged as an FIR then the police are under obligation to investigate the matter and file an investigation report, however in case of a Station General Diary they are not under any obligation to file any written report or investigate.
This is just a drop of information on how one can take the help of police. I am surely going to learn more about this system and I will keep you all posted.
MIXED MESSAGES
My seven year old daughter is obsessed with reading out loud every poster, hoarding, shop names and every bit of words and statements that she can see from the car window. She also asks the adults sitting in the car to explain what these terms and statements mean. Yesterday she saw a poster somewhere where it was written, ‘save a girl child’. She kept asking me what it meant. Usually I and my husband are a bit wary about explaining to her, because her questions do not end there as she asks us in the most unusual places and inappropriate places (Once during a serious meeting she wanted me to clarify about menstruation and Sex). But this was one statement which I had to clarify to her. When I explained why it is important to save a girl child especially in India and how precious they are, she still did not understand.
So I had to take the story of Balika Badhu ( a television serial which I utterly detest, which is regressive and actually promotes certain key traditional practices like child marriage, widow repression and no education for a girl child and which should be abolished/banned). What is great about the serial is that it is currently the most popular serial, and even in workplaces colleagues of mine discuss about the serial and react positively to the story line.
Did my daughter understand after my explanation? Not really, as previously I had told her that Balika Badhu is just a story and not something to be believed in.
Shiny Ahuja the brilliant actor involved in raping his own 18 year old maid. There will probably be two kinds of opinion, if it is rape then he should be jailed, if it is consensual then probably he is not at fault. EXCUSE ME which ever way it goes it is rape. A young susceptible 17/18 year old girl from a poor marginalized background who is uneducated works in your house as a domestic maid for a paltry sum, who is lead/seduced by a married man in his thirties, who is a film actor ( Mr. Shiney Ahuja who proudly claims to be a thinking actor) to indulge in sex, when his wife and child are away. Do you still feel that this is right if it was consensual?
I think the media(print, audio, video) throws a lot of questions which need to be looked into and pondered before community becomes the judge and jury and pronounces a verdict.
So I had to take the story of Balika Badhu ( a television serial which I utterly detest, which is regressive and actually promotes certain key traditional practices like child marriage, widow repression and no education for a girl child and which should be abolished/banned). What is great about the serial is that it is currently the most popular serial, and even in workplaces colleagues of mine discuss about the serial and react positively to the story line.
Did my daughter understand after my explanation? Not really, as previously I had told her that Balika Badhu is just a story and not something to be believed in.
Shiny Ahuja the brilliant actor involved in raping his own 18 year old maid. There will probably be two kinds of opinion, if it is rape then he should be jailed, if it is consensual then probably he is not at fault. EXCUSE ME which ever way it goes it is rape. A young susceptible 17/18 year old girl from a poor marginalized background who is uneducated works in your house as a domestic maid for a paltry sum, who is lead/seduced by a married man in his thirties, who is a film actor ( Mr. Shiney Ahuja who proudly claims to be a thinking actor) to indulge in sex, when his wife and child are away. Do you still feel that this is right if it was consensual?
I think the media(print, audio, video) throws a lot of questions which need to be looked into and pondered before community becomes the judge and jury and pronounces a verdict.
Documentary: Dinare Basanta Aame aau Raati Re Basanti.
Today all of us at idpr and Sakha saw a very lovely documentary which had been previously shown in OTV by Debadutt Choudary and Bhibuti Rath. it was a very good effort and was appreciated by all of us. The members of Sakha after seeing it could relate to the stories of neglect, prejudice, biases perpetrated by family members and community.
The documentary was appreciated by all, except for one concern raised by Meera who felt that the title of the documentary, "Dinare Basanta aame raati re basanti" (which when translated in english was, 'in morning we are Basant (Male) and at night we are Basanti(Female)') was inappropriate as she felt that there is a lot of stigma associated with it, and no transgender or hijra would like to be a man in morning and women in the darkness of night. This video was developed by Devdutt Choudary and Bibhuti Rath, both can be reached in OTV, if you have any comments on the video or require more information on how to access the entire documentary please contact: devsruti75@gmail.com and bibhuti_rath@yahoo.co.in
The documentary was appreciated by all, except for one concern raised by Meera who felt that the title of the documentary, "Dinare Basanta aame raati re basanti" (which when translated in english was, 'in morning we are Basant (Male) and at night we are Basanti(Female)') was inappropriate as she felt that there is a lot of stigma associated with it, and no transgender or hijra would like to be a man in morning and women in the darkness of night. This video was developed by Devdutt Choudary and Bibhuti Rath, both can be reached in OTV, if you have any comments on the video or require more information on how to access the entire documentary please contact: devsruti75@gmail.com and bibhuti_rath@yahoo.co.in
Supreme court's pro-life decision.
NEW DELHI, India -- In a landmark pro-life decision, the Supreme Court on July 21 allowed a 20-year-old mentally challenged orphan girl to keep her pregnancy resulting from a sexual assault and set aside the Punjab and Haryana High Court ruling ordering medical termination.
The HC had ordered medical termination of the girl's 19-week-old pregnancy after coming to the conclusion that since she was unable to take care of herself, she should be relieved of the pregnancy given the state of her condition — both mental and physical.
The HC was guided by opinion of two panels of doctors, including psychiatrists and gynaecologists, which assessed the rape victim to be of the mental age of 7-9 years. They had expressed concern over her ability to undertake pre-natal and post-natal precautions and care, though they were unanimous that she was physically fit to carry the pregnancy and deliver the child.
The SC allowed her to keep the pregnancy as it was in an advanced stage and the National Trust for Mentally Retarded pledged to take care of the mother and child for the rest of their lives.
Initially, a Bench comprising Chief Justice K G Balakrishnan and Justices P Sathasivam and B S Chauhan, which in the past has dismissed PILs seeking abolition of death sentence, appeared to be torn between the mentally retarded girl's right to motherhood and its apprehension about the child's future.
The unfortunate girl's case was presented in a legal docket scribbled with emotional arguments by counsel Tanu Bedi, who sought the SC's intervention to allow the orphan girl to have her first blood relation through the child she was carrying.
"If her mental age is a consideration for the judiciary to think that she cannot take care of her baby, why should poor women, who are found lacking in bringing up their children, be allowed to become mothers," Bedi asked.
Appearing for Chandigarh administration, counsel Anupam Gupta referred to the support flowing in from NGOs for the rape victim and said it would be wrong to get swayed by the response of NGOs as there was no guarantee that they would continue doing so for the entire lifetime of the girl and the child after it was born.
When the court asked why the state could not take care of the mother and child, Gupta said, "Let's not get swept off our feet by euphoria shown by NGOs to support the mentally challenged girl and let's not be blind to the ground reality. Even normal parents take it as a setback if their child turns out to be mentally challenged. If the mentally challenged girl's child turns out to be mentally retarded, then will the NGOs be there to lend support constantly and continuously?"
The Bench conceded that the girl was not in a position to take care of herself and her child. "The foetus is fine and does not appear to suffer from any deformity. We cannot say for sure whether the child will be mentally retarded. The pregnancy is in an advanced stage. Moreover, if someone agrees to take care of the mother through the pregnancy and the child when it is born, then why should she be deprived of motherhood," it said.
The HC had ordered medical termination of the girl's 19-week-old pregnancy after coming to the conclusion that since she was unable to take care of herself, she should be relieved of the pregnancy given the state of her condition — both mental and physical.
The HC was guided by opinion of two panels of doctors, including psychiatrists and gynaecologists, which assessed the rape victim to be of the mental age of 7-9 years. They had expressed concern over her ability to undertake pre-natal and post-natal precautions and care, though they were unanimous that she was physically fit to carry the pregnancy and deliver the child.
The SC allowed her to keep the pregnancy as it was in an advanced stage and the National Trust for Mentally Retarded pledged to take care of the mother and child for the rest of their lives.
Initially, a Bench comprising Chief Justice K G Balakrishnan and Justices P Sathasivam and B S Chauhan, which in the past has dismissed PILs seeking abolition of death sentence, appeared to be torn between the mentally retarded girl's right to motherhood and its apprehension about the child's future.
The unfortunate girl's case was presented in a legal docket scribbled with emotional arguments by counsel Tanu Bedi, who sought the SC's intervention to allow the orphan girl to have her first blood relation through the child she was carrying.
"If her mental age is a consideration for the judiciary to think that she cannot take care of her baby, why should poor women, who are found lacking in bringing up their children, be allowed to become mothers," Bedi asked.
Appearing for Chandigarh administration, counsel Anupam Gupta referred to the support flowing in from NGOs for the rape victim and said it would be wrong to get swayed by the response of NGOs as there was no guarantee that they would continue doing so for the entire lifetime of the girl and the child after it was born.
When the court asked why the state could not take care of the mother and child, Gupta said, "Let's not get swept off our feet by euphoria shown by NGOs to support the mentally challenged girl and let's not be blind to the ground reality. Even normal parents take it as a setback if their child turns out to be mentally challenged. If the mentally challenged girl's child turns out to be mentally retarded, then will the NGOs be there to lend support constantly and continuously?"
The Bench conceded that the girl was not in a position to take care of herself and her child. "The foetus is fine and does not appear to suffer from any deformity. We cannot say for sure whether the child will be mentally retarded. The pregnancy is in an advanced stage. Moreover, if someone agrees to take care of the mother through the pregnancy and the child when it is born, then why should she be deprived of motherhood," it said.
Sunanda: My Friend
When I was a child of eight I had a friend called Sunanda, she adored me. Everybody in our school had a problem with her as she never seemed normal. First of all she never seemed like a girl, I mean she was tall like a reed had a very sweet smile She never developed like a girl with breasts or had a figure like a girl. She was fast like a boy and won all races in our school, she could throw the discus the farthest. she had a booming voice and boys and girls would stop in their tracks when she would stay attention during parades.
She loved being a part my friend. She had the tallest story to tell; and I loved her stories and laughed out the loudest. There were a lot of jeers and comments and snide remarks about her looks, the way she walked the way she talked the way she waved her hand. Her parents treated her like a girl. I adored her, and was very protective about her. Our classmates both boys and girls were mortally afraid to say anything against her or bully her as they were terribly afraid of my temper I was very short tempered and could hit anybody twice my size without bothering to look or be afraid of whether s/he would hit me back. All my friends/enemies/others would scatter away when I had one of my temper tantrums, as I would hit out at anyone who stood besides me, and come out with the choicest of abuses and gaalis; in fact two people who could stop my rampage were my mother and Sunanda.
Sunanda did not have her periods when all of us did and that was the talk of our small town, her mother kept assuring her that she would have it and some girls had it late. And i would console her saying that I was very happy for her. I would always tell her what is the need for periods, it is a real pain; and she would look at me sadly.
Slowly she withdrew from all her friends except for me. After high school exams she studied at home and stopped going to college. I carried on with my life but always had time for her. I left the town, but returned back every summer to her and we would sit for hours and bitch about everybody. Sunanda would wait every summer for me. She was never seen out of the house. I got married she was the happiest; when I had my first daughter she was the happiest, and gave hand crafted rugs, bedsheets and tiny smock dresses for my daughter; she was just wonderful with the baby; Sunanda would have made a wonderful mother.
I lost Sunanda to time; now I am not sure where she is. Now that I am working in this field I know more about her and wish I could help her and support her.
Sunanda is a hermaphrodite(this was something I understood after starting to work in this sector) which currently has been replaced by the term intersexual. That is humans with typical reproductive organs but typical clitoris/penis. People with Intersex conditions sometimes chose to live exclusively as one sex or the other trying to blend into the sex they identify with more closely. Some people who are intersexed outwardly appear completely female or male already without realizing they are intersexed. Other kinds of Intersex conditions are identified immediately at birth because those with the conditions have a sexual organ larger than a clitoris and smaller than a penis.
Working in the field of Sexual Reproductive Health and HIV&AIDS you hear on stigma and discrimination and you realize how deep rooted heterosexism is. We talk about respect, dignity and tolerance but somehow it is not evidence in our day to day life. Sunanda was beautiful but had a hard life, now when i read about Caster Semenya she reminds me of Sunanda. We keep debating about her gender whether she should compete or not which gender should she belong to. When Caster smiles it is pure sunshine, same as Sunanda but who cares.
She loved being a part my friend. She had the tallest story to tell; and I loved her stories and laughed out the loudest. There were a lot of jeers and comments and snide remarks about her looks, the way she walked the way she talked the way she waved her hand. Her parents treated her like a girl. I adored her, and was very protective about her. Our classmates both boys and girls were mortally afraid to say anything against her or bully her as they were terribly afraid of my temper I was very short tempered and could hit anybody twice my size without bothering to look or be afraid of whether s/he would hit me back. All my friends/enemies/others would scatter away when I had one of my temper tantrums, as I would hit out at anyone who stood besides me, and come out with the choicest of abuses and gaalis; in fact two people who could stop my rampage were my mother and Sunanda.
Sunanda did not have her periods when all of us did and that was the talk of our small town, her mother kept assuring her that she would have it and some girls had it late. And i would console her saying that I was very happy for her. I would always tell her what is the need for periods, it is a real pain; and she would look at me sadly.
Slowly she withdrew from all her friends except for me. After high school exams she studied at home and stopped going to college. I carried on with my life but always had time for her. I left the town, but returned back every summer to her and we would sit for hours and bitch about everybody. Sunanda would wait every summer for me. She was never seen out of the house. I got married she was the happiest; when I had my first daughter she was the happiest, and gave hand crafted rugs, bedsheets and tiny smock dresses for my daughter; she was just wonderful with the baby; Sunanda would have made a wonderful mother.
I lost Sunanda to time; now I am not sure where she is. Now that I am working in this field I know more about her and wish I could help her and support her.
Sunanda is a hermaphrodite(this was something I understood after starting to work in this sector) which currently has been replaced by the term intersexual. That is humans with typical reproductive organs but typical clitoris/penis. People with Intersex conditions sometimes chose to live exclusively as one sex or the other trying to blend into the sex they identify with more closely. Some people who are intersexed outwardly appear completely female or male already without realizing they are intersexed. Other kinds of Intersex conditions are identified immediately at birth because those with the conditions have a sexual organ larger than a clitoris and smaller than a penis.
Working in the field of Sexual Reproductive Health and HIV&AIDS you hear on stigma and discrimination and you realize how deep rooted heterosexism is. We talk about respect, dignity and tolerance but somehow it is not evidence in our day to day life. Sunanda was beautiful but had a hard life, now when i read about Caster Semenya she reminds me of Sunanda. We keep debating about her gender whether she should compete or not which gender should she belong to. When Caster smiles it is pure sunshine, same as Sunanda but who cares.
Voluntary Organizations In Orissa
Today for the first time I am short of words, I have not been able to understand how Voluntary Organizations in Orissa have placed themselves. As per my knowledge Voluntary Organization can broadly be classified as per the roles they perform and they are as follows:
1. Public Service Contractors (Provide services for a fee).
2. Collaborators(Those who associate with Government or agencies for a particular cause or issue).
3. Social Innovators (those who ensure social changes through innovative ideas).
4. Builders of Civil Society Institutions, (those who facilitate in building up core civil society building)
5. Last but not the least Social Critics and Policy Innovators.
In Orissa as far as I know most of the organizations work as Public Service Contractors, even INGOs who enter into an agreement to work as Collaborators are soon working as Public Service Contractors, Look at Care-India or Action AID all of them are currently extensions of Government, they have established themselves as Technical Resource Units for Government, but in every meeting that you go, they act as representatives of the Government, and justify and support initiatives of the Government even if they are faulty and lack the necessary insight and are anti poor.
When you get grant funding and you try to package yourself as per the Governments' will and wishes,then does it not affect civil society movement and the very foundation of establishing a Voluntary Organization? Looking at the scenario don't you think we have lost our prerogative of questioning the Governments political will and need to question ourselves and our ability to speak out?
I hope I get more ideas and opinions on this and hopefully people associating themselves and working with Voluntary organizations are going to go through this and say you are wrong, this is not what we do in Orissa.......
Sarita
1. Public Service Contractors (Provide services for a fee).
2. Collaborators(Those who associate with Government or agencies for a particular cause or issue).
3. Social Innovators (those who ensure social changes through innovative ideas).
4. Builders of Civil Society Institutions, (those who facilitate in building up core civil society building)
5. Last but not the least Social Critics and Policy Innovators.
In Orissa as far as I know most of the organizations work as Public Service Contractors, even INGOs who enter into an agreement to work as Collaborators are soon working as Public Service Contractors, Look at Care-India or Action AID all of them are currently extensions of Government, they have established themselves as Technical Resource Units for Government, but in every meeting that you go, they act as representatives of the Government, and justify and support initiatives of the Government even if they are faulty and lack the necessary insight and are anti poor.
When you get grant funding and you try to package yourself as per the Governments' will and wishes,then does it not affect civil society movement and the very foundation of establishing a Voluntary Organization? Looking at the scenario don't you think we have lost our prerogative of questioning the Governments political will and need to question ourselves and our ability to speak out?
I hope I get more ideas and opinions on this and hopefully people associating themselves and working with Voluntary organizations are going to go through this and say you are wrong, this is not what we do in Orissa.......
Sarita
Employing children as domestic help: it is physical abuse
If you have children below the age of 16 working in your house in whatever capacity, please immediately release them from this bondage. It is wrong in every way. When children are hired to do our menial work, and provide babysitting to our kids, we deny them the opportunity to study, play, and enjoy the brief time that they have to be the kids that they are. You might feel that you have rescued them from their undoubtedly terrible lives. You are just indulging in a spot of very dubious rationalisation to justify what you know to be wrong. Would you put your child to work ? Or any child of your social class ?
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